Short stories, Russian -- Translations into English
"No, it wasn't a duel, but it was a stupid and horrid story. I will
tell you all about it, if you don't know. It happened that the same
year that I met you at my sister's I was living at Petersburg. I must
tell you I had then what they call une position dans le monde,--a
position good enough if it was not brilliant. Mon pere me donnait ten
thousand par an. In '49 I was promised a place in the embassy at Turin;
my uncle on my mother's side had influence, and was always ready to do
a great deal for me. That sort of thing is all past now. J'etais recu
dans la meilleure societe de Petersburg; I might have aspired to any
girl in the city. I was well educated, as we all are who come from the
school, but was not especially cultivated; to be sure, I read a good
deal afterwards, mais j'avais surtout, you know, ce jargon du monde,
and, however it came about, I was looked upon as a leading light among
the young men of Petersburg. What raised me more than all in common
estimation, c'est cette liaison avec Madame D., about which a great
deal was said in Petersburg; but I was frightfully young at that time,
and did not prize these advantages very highly. I was simply young and
stupid. What more did I need? Just then that Metenin had some
notoriety--"
And Guskof went on in the same fashion to relate to me the history of
his misfortunes, which I will omit, as it would not be at all
interesting.
"Two months I remained under arrest," he continued, "absolutely alone;
and what thoughts did I not have during that time? But, you know, when
it was all over, as though every tie had been broken with the past,
then it became easier for me. Mon pere,--you have heard tell of him,
of course, a man of iron will and strong convictions,--il m'a
desherite, and broken off all intercourse with me. According to his
convictions he had to do as he did, and I don't blame him at all. He
was consistent. Consequently, I have not taken a step to induce him to
change his mind. My sister was abroad. Madame D. is the only one who
wrote to me when I was released, and she sent me assistance; but you
understand that I could not accept it, so that I had none of those
little things which make one's position a little easier, you
know,--books, linen, food, nothing at all. At this time I thought
things over and over, and began to look at life with different eyes.
For instance, this noise, this society gossip about me in Petersburg,
did not interest me, did not flatter me; it all seemed to me
ridiculous. I felt that I myself had been to blame; I was young and
indiscreet; I had spoiled my career, and I only thought how I might get
into the right track again. And I felt that I had strength and energy
enough for it. After my arrest, as I told you, I was sent here to the
Caucasus to the N. regiment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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