Says I, “To think a human bein', to say nothin' of a perfessor, would go to work deliberate to get a man into a state that is jest as likely as not to end in a murder, or any crime, for gain to himself.” Says I, “Think of the different crimes you commit by that one act, Josiah Allen. You make a man a fool, and in that way put yourself down on a level with disease, deformity, and hereditary sin. You steal his reason away. You are a thief of the deepest dye; for you steal then, from the man you have stole from--steal the first rights of his manhood, his honor, his patriotism, his duty to God and man. You are a thief of the Government--thief of God, and right. “Then, _you_ make this man liable to commit any crime: so, if he murders, _you_ are a murderer; if he commits suicide, _your_ guilty soul shall cower in the presence of Him who said, 'No self-murderer shall inherit eternal life.' It is your own doom you shall read in them dreadful words.” “Good landy, Samantha! do you want to scare me to death?” and Josiah quailed and shook, and shook and quailed. “I am only tellin' you the truth, Josiah Allen; and I should think it _would_ scare anybody to death.” “If I don't do it, I shall appear like a fool: I shall be one by myself.” Oh, how Josiah duz want to be fashionable! “No, you won't, Josiah Allen--no, you won't. If you try to do right, try to do God's will, you have His armies to surround you with a unseen wall of Strength.” “Why, I hain't seen you look so sort o' skairful and riz up, for years, Samantha.” “I hain't felt so. To think of the brink you wuz a standin' on, and jest a fallin' off of.” Josiah looked quite bad. And he put his hand on his side, and says, “My heart beats as if it wuz a tryin' to get out and walk round the room. I do believe I have got population of the heart.” Says I, in a sarcasticker tone than I had used,-- “That is a disease that is very common amongst men, very common, though they hain't over and above willin' to own up to it. Too much population of the heart has ailed many a man before now, and woman too,” says I in reasonable axents. “But you mean palpitation.” “Wall, I said so, didn't I? And it is jest your skairful talk that has done it.” “Wall, if I thought I could convince men as I have you, I would foller the business stiddy, of skairin' folks, and think I wuz doin' my duty.” Says I, my emotions a roustin' up agin,-- “I should call it a good deal more honorable in you to get drunk yourself; and I should think more of you, if I see you a reelin' round yourself, than to see you make other folks reel. I should think it was your own reel, and you had more right to it than to anybody else's. “Oh! to think I should have lived to see the hour, to have my companion in danger of goin' aginst the Scripter--ready to steal, or be stole, or knock down, or any thing, to buy votes, or sell 'em!”