_George._ Did you get it by inheritance, or out of a bottle? _Steven._ Look here; his ludship does not arrive, probably, till Friday. My friend, Frank Parker, is to come up here Tuesday. Let’s make him personate the “Lord high everything else.” _George_} _together_ {Well? _Dennis_} {What for? [_Both rise and come down stage to_ STEVEN. _Steven._ Why, in the first place, we shall fool the girls. That’s one for us! In the second place, they’ll carry out their tender programme on him, and so be tired of it when the “only genuine has our name blown in the bottle” puts in his appearance. That’s two for us! Thirdly and lastly, we will tell him to be a snob, so that the girls will find it impossible to carry out their plans on him. That’s three for us! _Dennis._ But will Parker dare to play such a trick in his first visit? Wouldn’t he be like those would-be tragedians whose first and last appearances are identical? _Steven._ Oh, Mrs. Wycherly would forgive him anything, for he is the son of an old sweetheart of hers. As for Frank, he’s up to anything, and has lived so long in the West that his highest form of amusement is a practical joke. _Dennis._ But how are you going to fool our hostess? _George._ Why, she has never seen Frank, and only heard of his existence when Steven and I brought word of the jolly fellow we had met in Colorado. _Steven._ And, besides, he’s a winner in disguising his person and voice. George and I coached all one day, lamenting that he had been left behind, and there he was, sitting beside the driver all the time. Now to the act! [_Goes to writing-table, and writes. After writing a page, he blots it on blotter and turns over and writes on second sheet._ _Dennis._ If it works I don’t go back to the city by a long sight. The governor may go it alone till I have seen the fun. _George (rising and imitating English accent and using his watch as an eye-glass)._ I say, Steve, cawnt he make the heavy English noticeable? _Dennis._ Yes; tell him to come out strong on that. _George._ And remember he’s in the hands of an oculist, doncher know. That will be a good excuse for goggles. _Dennis._ Tell him we’ll share the expense if he will only come. _Steven._ What was his third name? _George._ George Augustus Guelph Dunstan—otherwise Dust-pan. _Dennis._ When is an earl a small thing? _George (with disgust)._ He never is, when he’s in this country. _Dennis._ You never could guess a conundrum! _George._ Give it up, old man. _Dennis._ When he’s a little early. _George._ Hurry up, Steve. Dennis is in sad need of dinner. _Steven (reading letter)._ How’s this?