Christian women saints -- Fiction; Christianity, Conversion to -- Fiction; Courtesans -- Fiction; Egypt -- Fiction; Hermits -- Fiction
There was a new man in him and now he reasoned with God, but God did not
choose to enlighten him. His nights were one long dream, and his days
did not differ from his nights. One morning he awoke uttering sighs,
such as issue, by moonlight, from the tombs of the victims of crimes.
Thais had come, showing her bleeding feet, and whilst he wept, she had
slipped into his couch. There was no longer any doubt; the image of
Thais was an impure image.
His heart filled with disgust, he leaped out of his profaned couch, and
hid his face in his hands that he might not see the daylight. The hours
passed, but they did not remove his shame. All was quiet in the cell.
For the first time for many long days, Paphnutius was alone. The phantom
had at last left him, and even its absence seemed dreadful. Nothing,
nothing to distract his mind from the recollection of the dream. Full of
horror, he thought--
“Why did I not drive her away? Why did I not tear myself from her cold
arms and burning knees?”
He no longer dared to pronounce the name of God near that horrible
couch, and he feared that his cell being profaned, the demons might
freely enter at any hour. His fears did not deceive him. The seven
little jackals, which had never crossed the threshold, entered in a
file, and went and hid under the bed. At the vesper hour, there came an
eighth, the stench of which was horrible. The next day, a ninth joined
the others, and soon there were thirty, then sixty, then eighty. They
became smaller as they multiplied, and being no bigger than rats, they
covered the floor, the couch, and the stool. One of them jumped on the
little table by the side of the bed, and standing with its four feet
together on the death’s head, looked at the monk with burning eyes. And
every day fresh jackals came.
To expiate the abominable sin of his dream, and flee from impure
thoughts, Paphnutius determined to leave his cell, which had now become
polluted, go far into the desert, and practise unheard-of austerities,
strange labours, and fresh works of grace. But before putting his design
into action, he went to see old Palemon and ask his advice.
He found him in his garden watering his lettuces. It was the evening.
The blue Nile flowed at the foot of violet hills. The good old man was
walking slowly, in order not to frighten a pigeon that had perched on
his shoulder.
“The Lord be with thee, brother Paphnutius,” he said. “Admire his
goodness; He sends me the animals that He has created that I may
converse with them of His works, and praise Him in the birds of the air.
Look at this pigeon; note the changing hues of its neck, and say, is
it not a beautiful work of God? But have you not come to talk with me,
brother, on some pious subject? If so, I will put down my watering-pot,
and listen to you.”
Paphnutius told the old man about his journey, his return, the visions
of his days and the dreams of his nights,--without omitting the sinful
one--and the pack of jackals.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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