“I perceive.” said he, “you understand me; you apprehend that I know of
your doings of last night, and that any attempt at excuse is hopeless.
I have not come here to reproach you for your misconduct; I reproach
myself for a mistaken estimate of you; I ought to have known--and if you
had been a horse I would have known--that your crossbreeding would tell
on you. The bad drop was sure to betray itself. I will not dwell on
this, nor have I time. Your conduct last night makes my continued
residence here impossible. I cannot continue in a city where my
tradespeople have become my guests, and where the honors of my house
have been extended to my tailor and my butcher. I shall leave this,
therefore, as soon as I can conclude my arrangements to sell this place:
you must quit it at once. Eccles will be ready to start with you this
evening for the Rhine, and then for the interior of Germany,--I suspect
Weimar will do. He will be paymaster, and you will conform to his wishes
strictly as regards expense. Whether you study or not, whether you
employ your time profitably and creditably, or whether you pass it in
indolence, is a matter that completely regards yourself. As for me,
my conscience is acquitted when I provide you with the means of
acquirement, and I no more engage you to benefit by these advantages
than I do to see you eat the food that is placed before you. The compact
that unites us enjoins distinct duties from each. You need not write
to me till I desire you to do so; and when I think it proper we should
meet, I will tell you.”
If, while he spoke these harsh words to me, the slightest touch of
feeling--had one trace of even sorrow crossed his face, my whole heart
would have melted at once, and I would have thrown myself at his feet
for forgiveness. There was, however, a something so pitiless in his
tone, and a look so full of scorn in his steadfast eye, that every
sentiment of pride within me--that same pride I inherited from
himself--stimulated me to answer him, and I said boldly: “If the people
I saw here last night were not as well born as your habitual guests,
sir, I 'll venture to say there was nothing in their manner or
deportment to be ashamed of.”
“I am told that Mademoiselle Pauline Delorme was charming,” said he; and
the sarcasm of his glance covered me with shame and confusion. He had no
need to say more: I could not utter a word.
“This is a topic I will not discuss with you, sir,” said he, after a
pause. “I intended you to be a gentleman, and to live with gentlemen.
_Your_ tastes incline differently, and I make no opposition to them. As
I have told you already, I was willing to launch you into life; I 'll
not engage to be your pilot. Any interest I take or could take in you
must be the result of your own qualities. These have not impressed me
strongly up to this; and were I to judge by what I have seen, I should
send you back to those you came from.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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