The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the FarmCobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
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The Abandoned Farmers: His Humorous Account of a Retreat from the City to the Farm
Cobb, Irvin S. (Irvin Shrewsbury)
Farms -- Recreational use -- United States -- Fiction; Humorous stories
Between times, when not engaged in the pleasing occupation of building
our house on paper, we chose the site where it should stand. This, also,
consumed a good many days, because each time we decided on a different
location. One of our favorite recreations was shifting the house we
meant to build about from place to place. We put imaginary wheels under
that imaginary home of ours and kept it traveling all over the farm. The
trouble with us was we had too much latitude. With half an acre of land
at our disposal, we should have been circumscribed by boundary lines.
On half an acre you have to be reasonably definite about where you
are going to build; slide too far one way or the other, and you are
committing trespass, and litigation ensues. But we had sixty acres from
which to pick and to choose--sixty acres, with desirable sites scattered
all over the tract.
No sooner had we absolutely and positively settled on one spot as the
spot where the house must stand than we would find half a dozen others
equally desirable, or even more so; and then, figuratively speaking,
we would pick up the establishment and transport it to one of the newly
discovered spots, and wheel it round to face in a different direction
from the direction in which it had just been facing. If a thing that
does not yet physically exist may have sensations, the poor dizzy thing
must have felt as if it were a merry-go-round.
Likewise we were very busy putting in our road. Up until a short
time ago Miss Anna Peck, who makes a specialty of scaling supposedly
inaccessible crags, was probably the only living person who could have
derived any pleasure from penetrating to our mountain fastness, either
afoot or otherwise. When we heard an engine in difficulties coughing
down under the hill, followed by the sound of a tire blowing out, or by
the smell of rubber scorching as the brakes clamped into the fabric, we
knew some of our friends had been reckless enough to undertake to
climb up by motor. So, unless we wanted to become hermits, we felt it
incumbent upon us to put in a road.
When we got the estimates on the job we decided that the contractor must
have figured on building our road of chalcedony or onyx or moss agate or
some other of the semi-precious stones. It didn't seem possible that he
meant to use any native material--at that price. It turned out, though,
that his bid was fairly moderate--as processed blue-stone roads go in
this climate; and ours has cost us only about eight times as much as I
had previously supposed a replica of the Appian Way would cost. However,
it has been pronounced a very good road by critics who should know; not
a fancy road, but a fair average one.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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