The Adventures of SallyWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
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The Adventures of Sally
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Humorous stories; Inheritance and succession -- Fiction; New York (N.Y.) -- Fiction
“It was taken away,” said the calm, clear voice.
Miss Winch had added herself to the symposium. She stood beside
Fillmore, chewing placidly. It took more than raised voices and
gesticulating hands to disturb Miss Winch.
“Miss Hobson took it,” she went on in her cosy, drawling voice. “I saw
her.”
Sensation in court. The prisoner, who seemed to feel his position
deeply, cast a pop-eyed glance full of gratitude at his advocate.
Mr. Bunbury, in his capacity of prosecuting attorney, ran his fingers
through his hair in some embarrassment, for he was regretting now that
he had made such a fuss. Miss Hobson thus assailed by an underling,
spun round and dropped the lip-stick, which was neatly retrieved by the
assiduous Mr. Cracknell. Mr. Cracknell had his limitations, but he was
rather good at picking up lip-sticks.
“What's that? I took it? I never did anything of the sort.”
“Miss Hobson took it after the rehearsal yesterday,” drawled Gladys
Winch, addressing the world in general, “and threw it negligently at the
theatre cat.”
Miss Hobson seemed taken aback. Her composure was not restored by Mr.
Bunbury's next remark. The producer, like his company, had been feeling
the strain of the past few days, and, though as a rule he avoided
anything in the nature of a clash with the temperamental star, this
matter of the missing paper-knife had bitten so deeply into his soul
that he felt compelled to speak his mind.
“In future, Miss Hobson, I should be glad if, when you wish to throw
anything at the cat, you would not select a missile from the property
box. Good heavens!” he cried, stung by the way fate was maltreating
him, “I have never experienced anything like this before. I have
been producing plays all my life, and this is the first time this has
happened. I have produced Nazimova. Nazimova never threw paper-knives at
cats.”
“Well, I hate cats,” said Miss Hobson, as though that settled it.
“I,” murmured Miss Winch, “love little pussy, her fur is so warm, and if
I don't hurt her she'll do me no...”
“Oh, my heavens!” shouted Gerald Foster, bounding from his seat and for
the first time taking a share in the debate. “Are we going to spend the
whole day arguing about cats and paper-knives? For goodness' sake, clear
the stage and stop wasting time.”
Miss Hobson chose to regard this intervention as an affront.
“Don't shout at me, Mr. Foster!”
“I wasn't shouting at you.”
“If you have anything to say to me, lower your voice.”
“He can't,” observed Miss Winch. “He's a tenor.”
“Nazimova never...” began Mr. Bunbury.
Miss Hobson was not to be diverted from her theme by reminiscences of
Nazimova. She had not finished dealing with Gerald.
“In the shows I've been in,” she said, mordantly, “the author wasn't
allowed to go about the place getting fresh with the leading lady. In
the shows I've been in the author sat at the back and spoke when he was
spoken to. In the shows I've been in...”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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