Oh how Peter longed to give Pat a good poke! But he knew that the dame saw no harm in a joke, And he feared lest his fish she might burn. So smiling he said, "I another one sought, But here's your one back, which with me I brought, As I wished it at once to return." O Fiction! Miss Fiction! 'tis really too bad Thus one monstrous lie to another to add, As boys thread birds' eggs on a string. But he much had to fear, As you'll presently hear, His punishment's now on the wing. The trout by this were cooked, And so temptingly looked And smelt, they made Peter's mouth water; While Pat's lips at the view, And Mike's little beak, too, Are moist--and the dame's, and both daughters'. (For the child is not sleepy, and won't his eyes close-- There are victuals a-cooking he very well knows, Which, if not wide awake, he does justly suppose He shall lose, as provisions had run rather close.) Now the monk, nigh had offered the ladies a slice, But they looked, oh, so small! and they smelt, oh, so nice! That he thought he could never have meant it. For his maxim it was, ne'er an action to do When there was the least chance in a moment or two Of his finding good cause to repent it. So he said, "You've all dined?" and, as matter of course, He soon sat himself down to concoct the fish sauce, As he fancied he did it the best. But of what it was made I ne'er heard, so can't tell, Though I'm certain the subject he'd studied right well, For the good dame its merits confest. But he long had not been Ere he fancied he'd seen The tail of a coat through the hedge flap. "'Tis the Abbot," he thought, "And I now shall be caught, Like a frog or a toad in a rat-trap. In this cupboard I'll go, And mind, dame, you say 'No,' If about me he happen to ask. 'Tis really provoking, And far beyond joking! To evade him 's become quite a task." O Conscience! how truly the proverb declares, That Sin about with him his punishment bears. Yea his shadow will scare him, and make his heart quake, If, instead of the right, he another path take. He was scarcely concealed when a form the door darken'd. Quick his eye to the keyhole was placed, while he hearken'd Who it was to find out, when he felt a sharp bite At his leg, which gave him such a terrible fright That he near had rushed out, ere he found he had been On the cat and her kittens a-tumbling in. But a voice his attention that moment arrested-- 'Tis a subject, perchance, in which he's interested. So once more his gaze pierced the keyhole right through, Where he had of the table an excellent view.