The Army Mule, and Other War SketchesCastle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
History
The Army Mule, and Other War Sketches
Castle, Henry A. (Henry Anson)
United States -- History -- Civil War, 1861-1865; United States. Army -- Military life
Fenimore Cooper depicts the army Sutler of the Revolutionary contest
as a woman; habitually Irish; rubicund, snuffy, blasphemous and
addicted to gin--in brief an object of charity, socially and
pecuniarily. She can be fitted out, without violence to probability,
with an eye like a cross-section of hard boiled egg, and the shallow
retreating brow of an ibex; also with cotton in her ears. Her clothing
might easily have been fished out at random from a box of
contributions to hailstorm sufferers. Her coquettish, curly locks were
doubtless of oakum texture and solferino tinge. This much is
conjectural, for when we read on and learn that she was the camp
washerwoman we abandon the pursuit forthwith. Like flowers that bloom
in the Japanese spring, she has nothing to do with the case. She
vanishes like a congressman (before the czar era) constructively
absent when a quorum is to be burst. The Sutler of our more refined
war period was of the man masculine. No woman could have filled this
requisition, even in those days of Brigham Young's multi-wife
propaganda. No woman could have fought the good fight and kept the
stock in such a crisis, even with her trousseau reduced to a calico
basis. Where languorous lilies fill the eye with beauty, let the
gentler sex abide. A woman in our Sutler's sphere would have been more
useless than the horse that sustains superannuated relations to a fire
department. She would have been more expensive than the funeral of a
deceased statesman charged to the contingent fund; more dangerous than
a damp basement. During twenty centuries, while among men the glorious
Roman has degenerated into the monkey-tamer, woman, on the contrary,
has greatly advanced. And the advanced woman has apparently come to
stay. The ethereal creature who succumbed to tight lacing has
vanished. A stronger, sterner class succeed. The manly miss comes
forward, and her demands are something sumptuous. Nothing less than
the mandarin's full yellow jacket and peacock feather will suffice.
But the most fluent champion of uplifted femininity never dared to
rise with a whir to claim this dizzy pre-eminence of a Sutlership. The
cut of her garments may be virile and chic, still she aspired not so
high. The bravest of meat-stall heroines, with slaughter-house eyes
and leaf-lard complexion, may declaim suffrage syllogisms with the
witchery of a South Missouri angel, and her young man may tear his
hair in angry anguish at the thought, but Sutlerships transcend the
ambition of both.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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