The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts — John Shaqi
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three ActsPailleron, Edouard
General
The Art of Being Bored: A Comedy in Three Acts
Pailleron, Edouard
Comedy plays; French drama -- Translations into English
JEANNE. And it’s just horrid of her! Yes, she does it on purpose! A
woman knows very well that new-married people always—have things to say
to each other.
PAUL. (_Tenderly_) Yes, always!
JEANNE. Always? Really?—Always like this?
PAUL. What a sweet voice you have! I heard it a little while
ago—talking about the treaties of 1815! Soft, sweet, all-enveloping.
Ah, the voice is the music of the heart—as Monsieur de Tocqueville says!
JEANNE. Oh, Paul! I don’t like you to laugh at such serious things!
PAUL. Oh, let me be a little nonsensical, please, dear! I’m so happy
here! By Jove, just now I don’t care a rap whether I’m Prefect of
Carcassonne or not!
JEANNE. It’s always “just now” with me, Monsieur! That’s the difference!
PAUL. Dear little wife! (_He kisses her hands_)
MME. DE CÉRAN. But such impropriety, I nev—
DUCHESS. I can’t say that I object to that!
PAUL. I have a lot of back accounts to settle before I even begin to
collect for the present! When can we get away? Dear little girl, you
don’t know how I adore you!
JEANNE. Yes, I know—I can judge for myself!
PAUL. My Jeanne!
JEANNE. Oh, Paul, say it like that always! Always!
PAUL. Always! (_Close to her, and very tenderly_)
MME. DE CÉRAN. But, Duchess!!
DUCHESS. Oh! They’re married, aren’t they!
(_The door squeaks_; PAUL _and_ JEANNE _spring up, startled_.)
JEANNE _and_ PAUL. Eh?
JEANNE. Somebody’s coming!
PAUL. We must flee—as they say in the tragedy!
JEANNE. Quick! Quick!
PAUL. You see? My little invention!
JEANNE. So soon! What luck! (_They go out, right_)
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Going left_) Well, it is a fortunate thing that they
were interrupted.
DUCHESS. (_Following her_) I’m sorry they went—but the funny part is
over now!
(BELLAC _enters right, at the back_; MADAME DE CÉRAN _and the_ DUCHESS
_hide themselves, left_.)
BELLAC. What a noise that door makes!
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_To the_ DUCHESS, _as before_) Bellac!
DUCHESS. Bellac!
BELLAC. One can’t see very well here!
MME. DE CÉRAN. You see, it’s true!—Everything is true!
DUCHESS. Everything? No!—Only a little bit.
MME. DE CÉRAN. The rest is far away.
DUCHESS. In any case, it’s only a lark, a schoolgirl’s frolic! It can’t
be that—(_The door squeaks_) There she is! Oh, my, how my heart beats!
In cases like this, it’s better to be sure; one can never tell. Can you
see her?
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Peering out_) Yes, it’s she; Roger will be here in
a moment, on the lookout for them. Hadn’t we better show ourselves,
Duchess?
DUCHESS. No, no. I want to see where they stand. I want to catch them
red-handed.
MME. DE CÉRAN. (_Still looking_) I’m dying of
suspense—_Décolletée_—It’s certainly she.
DUCHESS. Oh, the little coquette! Let me see! (_She looks through the
leaves_) What’s that?
MME. DE CÉRAN. What?
DUCHESS. Look!
MME. DE CÉRAN. Lucy!
DUCHESS. Lucy!
MME. DE CÉRAN. What does that mean?
DUCHESS. I don’t know, but I like that better!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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