The Awakening: (The Resurrection)Tolstoy, Leo, graf
General
The Awakening: (The Resurrection)
Tolstoy, Leo, graf
Forgiveness -- Fiction; Russia -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
It was thought he had finished. But the justiciary found it necessary
to add a few words concerning the importance of the power given to
the jury; that it should be used with care, and should not be abused;
that they had taken an oath; that they were the conscience of society,
and that the secrecy of the consultation room was sacred, etc., etc.
From the moment the justiciary began to speak, Maslova kept her eyes
on him, as if she feared to miss a word, so that Nekhludoff was not
afraid to meet her gaze, and constantly looked at her. And before his
imagination arose that common phenomenon of the appearance of a long
absent, beloved face, which, after the first shock produced by the
external changes which have taken place during the long absence,
gradually becomes the same as it was many years ago--all the past
changes disappear, and before the spiritual eyes stands forth the main
expression of the peculiar spiritual individuality. This happened with
Nekhludoff.
Yes, notwithstanding the prison garb, the bloated body and the high
breast; notwithstanding the distended lower part of the face, the
wrinkles on the forehead and the temples, and the swelling under the
eyes, it was undoubtedly that same Katiousha who on Easter Sunday
looked up to him, her beloved, with her enamored, smiling, happy,
lively eyes.
"What a remarkable coincidence! That this case should be tried during
my term! That, without seeing her for ten years, I should meet her
here in the prisoner's dock! And what will be the end? Ah, I wish it
were over!"
He would not yield to the feeling of repentance which spoke within
him. He considered it an incident which would soon pass away without
disturbing his life. He felt himself in the position of a puppy who
had misbehaved in his master's rooms, and whom his master, taking him
by the neck, thrust into the dirt he had made. The puppy squeals,
pulls back in his effort to escape the consequences of his deed, which
he wishes to forget, but the inexorable master holds him fast. Thus
Nekhludoff felt the foulness of his act, and he also felt the powerful
hand of the master, but did not yet understand the significance of his
act, did not recognize the master. He did not wish to believe that
what he saw before him was the result of his own deed. But the
inexorable, invisible hand held him fast, and he had a foreboding that
he should not escape. He summoned up his courage, crossed his legs, as
was his wont, and, negligently playing with his pince-nez, he sat with
an air of self-confidence on the second chair of the front row.
Meanwhile he already felt in the depth of his soul all the cruelty,
dastardliness and baseness not only of that act of his, but of his
whole idle, dissolute, cruel and wayward life. And the terrible veil,
which during these twelve years in such marvelous manner had hidden
from him that crime and all his subsequent life, already began to
stir, and now and then he caught a glimpse behind it.
CHAPTER XXIII.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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