I was spendin' a day or two down in Essex with my old friend, Captain Bolter, South 'Ampstead Artillery. Dear old Tom--great favourite with the gals. Excuse my humour. LADY TWOMBLEY, IMOGEN, LADY EUPHEMIA VIBART, SIR JULIAN TWOMBLEY, LADY MACPHAIL, and DOWAGER. [Quietly to the shooters.] Good-bye. MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. It was wild-fowl Tom and I were after. We were lyin' in a ditch waitin' for the ducks to drift in with the tide. [As LEBANON continues his story all the others gradually and quietly disperse.] I counted fifty-seven birds through my glass. So said I to Tom, "Tom, I'm in dooced good form, my boy." "Devil you are!" said Tom. "And I lay you a pony to a penny that fifteen of those birds fall to my gun." "Done!" said Tom. [He is now alone in the room.] Well, to make a short story a long one--excuse my humour--Tom sneezed. Up I got. So did the ducks. And then what the dooce d'ye think 'appened? I say, what the dooce d'ye think---- [Discovering that he is alone.] Well, I'm---- Chatty, ain't they? Chatty! [MRS. GAYLUSTRE enters.] MRS. GAYLUSTRE. Jo! why aren't you with the shooters? MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. Why! They hooked it while I was tellin 'em the tale of Tom Bolter and the ducks. MRS. GAYLUSTRE. Never mind, my pet. MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. It's rude--that's what it is--it's dooced rude. MRS. GAYLUSTRE. Come along, we'll walk on to the moor. MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. What, are you going too, Fan? MRS. GAYLUSTRE. Yes, dear. Your poor Fanny has a little bit of fun on. MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. Oh, Fan, if I only 'ad your confidence, your push. But the rudeness of these people is gettin' on my nerves. MRS. GAYLUSTRE. Why, Joseph! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. I feel a little 'urt, Fan--a little 'urt. [VALENTINE enters.] VALENTINE WHITE. Mr. Lebanon! MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. Hi! Where are they? VALENTINE WHITE. Just starting in the drag. Be quick. MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. [To MRS. GAYLUSTRE.] Come on! They shall hear about Tom Bolter and the ducks before I've done with 'em. Come on! [MRS. GAYLUSTRE and LEBANON hurry out.] MR. JOSEPH LEBANON. [Outside.] Hi! Hi! VALENTINE WHITE. That fellow was born to hail an omnibus. [IMOGEN appears.] IMOGEN. [Not seeing VALENTINE.] Will he be long? [She encounters him.] Oh! You are not neglecting your duties, I hope, Valentine? VALENTINE WHITE. I shall follow the others in the cart. Your note was marked "urgent." IMOGEN. Was it? VALENTINE WHITE. [Showing her letter.] "Urgent." IMOGEN. What a thoughtless habit it is to mark all one's letters "urgent." All I wanted to say to you is this--but it isn't urgent. VALENTINE WHITE. No, no--I understand that. IMOGEN. I merely had a foolish desire to be the first to acquaint you of my--undeserved happiness. VALENTINE WHITE. What happiness don't you deserve? IMOGEN. The happiness of becoming Lady Colin Macphail, Valentine. VALENTINE WHITE. Oh. Is that--all? IMOGEN. That's all--just at present. VALENTINE WHITE.