Resentment and thoughts of coincidences were pushed out of her mind,
however, by the question, "Would he tell me again he loves me?" This
was both a personal and a sentimental question and was therefore of
chief interest to her woman’s mind. Not that she had a whit more of
love for him than upon that last day upon the St. Lawrence—oh, no; but
his love for her? his willingness to avow it? was it still hers? was it
ever hers really?—for not a word or a line had he addressed to her since
the day they fought the river. She would confess to a slight curiosity
and desire to meet him when she should go to Washington on that promised
visit to Lola DeVale.
Rutledge assuredly had escaped none of the untoward influences which the
Phillips-negro incidents might have had upon his love for Elise. His
good mother religiously attended to the duty of impressing upon him the
disgraceful horrors of those affairs. She found no words forceful enough
properly to characterize them, though she applied herself with each new
day to the task. What might have been the result if her son’s heart had
been inclined to fight for the love of Elise of course cannot be known.
His mother’s philippics effected nothing, for the good reason that he
had lost hope of winning Elise before the negro incidents occurred, and
the personal turn his mother gave them was only tiresome to him.
Elise’s last words to him, "There is no answer," had put their affair
beyond the effect of anything of that sort. She had not only refused
him, but had flouted him, treated him with contempt: yes, had said to
him in effect that his proffer of love was not worth even a negative
answer. He had gone over every incident of their association, and, with
a lover’s carefulness of detail, had considered and weighed her every
word and look and gesture; and, with a lover’s proverbial blundering,
had found as a fact the only thing that was not true.
* * * * *
When Elise came to Washington on her visit Rutledge knew of course that
she was in town, and he kept his eyes open for her. His pride would not
let him call upon her, for he had meditated upon her treatment of him
till his grievance had been magnified many fold and his view had become
so distorted that in all her acts he saw only a purpose to play with his
heart. Yet, he wished to see her, wished very much to see her—doubtless
for the same reason that a bankrupt will look in upon "the pit" that has
gulfed his fortune.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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