"But, oh, papa," cried Mab, who was the most impatient, "it is a great
deal more than a lesson. Think what consequences it will bring to
you--and us--and everybody."
He looked at her with a half smile. "Little Mab," he said, "teaching her
elders. Harry will begin soon. Yes, to be sure; we have got fond of this
place; it seems hard that we should have to go."
"But, papa, where shall we go? What shall we do? What is to become of
us?" said Cicely.
Mr. St. John shook his head. "If you will consider that I have only just
seen it this moment," he said, "you will see that I cannot be expected
all at once---- Was this what Mrs. Ascott was talking of? And what did
she mean by petitions, and the Lord Chancellor? I hope you have not been
putting anything into her head?"
There was a pause--the girls looked at each other, and blushed as if
they were the culprits; then Miss Maydew came boldly to the front. "It
was not the fault of the girls, Mr. St. John; on the contrary, they were
against it. But I thought there was no harm in saying that a petition
from the parish--to the Lord Chancellor--a well signed petition, as
there must be so many people here who are fond of you--and that no doubt
he would give you the living if he understood the circumstances."
"I a beggar for a living!" said Mr. St. John. "I who have never asked
for anything in my life!" A deep flush came upon his delicate pale face.
He had borne a great many more serious blows without wincing. Death had
visited him, and care dwelt in his house--and he had borne these
visitations placidly; but there was one flaw in his armour, and this
unlooked-for assault found it out. A flame of injured pride blazed up in
him, swift as fire and as glowing. "I thought I should have died without
this," he said with a groan, half fierce, half bitter. "What was it to
you? I never asked you for anything! Oh, this is hard--this is very hard
to bear."
In the memory of man it had never been known that Mr. St. John thus
complained before. The girls had never heard his voice raised or seen
the flush of anger on his face; and they were overawed by it. This kind
of sentiment too has always a certain fictitious grandeur to the
inexperienced. Never to ask for anything; to wait--patient merit
scorning all conflict with the unworthy--till such time as its greatness
should be acknowledged. This sounds very sublime in most cases to the
youthful soul.
"Well, Mr. St. John," said Miss Maydew, "you may say I have no right to
interfere; but if you had stooped to ask for something it might have
been a great deal better for your family. Besides, you have not asked
for anything now. I am not responsible for my actions to any one, and I
hope I may do either for you or anybody else whatever I please in the
way of service. If the Lord Chancellor does give you the living----"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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