It was the last refuge and solace of his often tired and often wounded
mind. Even after friends were gone at night and the poker chips were
stacked or the whist counters folded; after the sideboard had been
visited and temperately forsaken; after the abiding books had done for
him what they could; in the still house far into the night, he would
sometimes lie back in his chair and survey those battle-pictures of a
science on which he was spending his loyalty and his strength.
Once, in younger days, outside the Eternal City, he had gone to study
those fragments of the Old Roman Aqueduct that to-day are slowly
crumbling on the Campagna; and standing alone before it he had in
imagination searched for the figure of some young workman who had helped
to mould those brick or to finish those columns: the figure of some
obscure vanished peasant. So the great wall of his science, being built
onward across the centuries into the future, would be revisited by men
of the future in places where it stood in ruins. He would be as one
whose life with its mistakes was yet linked to indestructible good. He
would vanish from beside the wall himself, but his work upon it would
have helped to uphold humanity. And many a night he went asleep in his
chair, committing himself to his Science, as the forgotten Roman laborer
of old may have fallen asleep under his own arch.
But, in that same Italy, northward are the Apennines; and sometimes in
travelling through these or through the Swiss glaciers where Nature
measures all things on the scale of the sublime--sometimes as your eye
is passing from snow peak to snow peak, suddenly away up on some
mountain-side you will see a human hut; and standing in the door of that
hut a single human being; and the thought may come to you that there, in
the heart of that pygmy, may dwell sorrow that dwarfs the Alps.
The doctor's library had such a picture: it completed the story of the
room, and it effaced everything else in it. In a somewhat darkened
corner hung a framed photograph of his wife in her bridal dress made not
long after their wedding. Once his photograph had hung beside it. The
plaster where the nail had been driven in had either fallen out or it
had been torn out. He never knew--he knew enough not to ask.
As for the photograph, there stood a young bride, looking into her
future and trying to conceal from herself what she saw soon awaiting
her: the life of a woman wedded but not loved. And there was
recollection in the eyes too: that the man who had married her perhaps
in the very breath of his wooing had wished she were another; that at
the altar he had perhaps wished he were putting his ring upon another's
hand; and that if there were to be children, he would always be wishing
for them another mother.
* * * * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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