Romashov was uncomfortable and constrained the whole time. He did not know what to do with his hands, which, for the most part, he kept under the table plaiting the fringe of the tablecloth. He had long got out of the habit of observing what was regarded as "good form" in an elegant and wealthy house. And, during the whole time he was at table, one sole thought tortured him: "How disagreeable this is, and what weakness and cowardice on my part not to have the courage to refuse this humiliating invitation to dinner. Now I shall not stand this any longer. I'll get up and bow to the company, and go my way. They may think what they please about it. They can hardly eat me up for that--nor rob me of my soul, my thoughts, my consciousness. Shall I go?" And again he was obliged to acknowledge to himself, with a heart overflowing with pain and indignation, that he lacked the moral courage necessary to assert his individuality and self-respect. Twilight was falling when at last coffee was served. The red, slanting beams of the setting sun filtered in through the window blinds, and sportively cast little copper-coloured spots or rays on the dark furniture, on the white tablecloth, and the clothes and countenances of those present. Conversation gradually languished. All sat silent, as though hypnotized by the mystic mood of the dying day. "When I was an ensign," said Shulgovich, breaking the silence, "we had for the chief of our brigade a General named Fofanov. He was just one of those gentle and simple old fogies who had risen from the ranks during a time of war, and, as I believe, belonged at the start to what we call Kantonists.[12] I remember how at reviews he always went straight up to the big drum--he was insanely enamoured of that instrument--and said to the drummer, 'Come, come, my friend, play me something really melancholy.' This same General had also the habit of going to bed directly the clock struck eleven. When the clock was just on the stroke of the hour, he invariably said to his guests, 'Well, well, gentlemen, eat, drink, and enjoy yourselves, but I'm going to throw myself into the arms of Neptune.' Somebody once remarked, 'Your Excellency, you mean the arms of Morpheus?' 'Oh, that's the same thing. They both belong to the same mineralogy.' Well, that's just what I am going to do, gentlemen." Shulgovich got up and placed his serviette on the arm of his chair. "I, too, am going to throw myself into the arms of Neptune. I release you, gentlemen." Both officers got up and stretched themselves. "A bitter, ironical smile played on his thin lips," thought Romashov about himself--only _thought_, however, for at that moment his countenance was pale, wretched, and by no means prepossessing to look at.