The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.Crabtre, Addison Darre
History
The Funny Side of Physic: Or, The Mysteries of Medicine, Presenting the Humorous and Serious Sides of Medical Practice. An Exposé of Medical Humbugs, Quacks, and Charlatans in All Ages and All Countries.
Crabtre, Addison Darre
Medicine -- Anecdotes; Quacks and quackery
Finally, upon the general introduction of printing, physician, apothecary,
mountebank, speculator, all seized upon the "power of the press," to more
extensively introduce their "wonderful discoveries."
When you notice the name--and, O, ye gods, such names as are patched up to
attract your attention!--to a new medicine, systematically and extensively
advertised in every paper you chance to pick up, you wonder how any profit
can accrue to the manufacturer of the compound after paying such enormous
prices as column upon column in a thousand newspapers must necessarily
cost. "If the articles cost anything at the outset," you go on to
philosophize, "how can the manufacturers or proprietors make enough profit
to pay for this colossal advertising?" The solution of the problem is
embodied in your inquiry. They cost nothing, or as near to nothing as
possible for worthless trash to cost. This is the secret of the fortunes
made in advertised medicines.
When we _know_ the complete worthlessness of the majority of the articles
that are placed before the public,--yea, their more than worthlessness,
for they are, many of them, highly injurious to the user,--the fact of
their enormous consumption is truly astonishing. The drug-swallowing
public has grown lean and poor in proportion as the manufacturers and
venders of these villanous compounds have grown fat and wealthy.
Said the proprietor of "Coe's Cough Balsam" and "Dyspepsia Cure" to the
author, "If you have got a _good_ medicine, one of value, don't put it
before the public. I can advertise _dish water_, and sell it, just as well
as an article of merit. It is all in the advertising." As the above
preparations were advertised on every board fence, and in every newspaper
in New England at least, did his assertion imply that those articles were
mere "_dish water_"?
"SPALDING'S GLUE."
I was informed by a Mr. Johnston, who engineered the advertising of the
preparation, that it cost but one eighth of a cent per bottle. If you want
to make a liquid glue, dissolve a quantity of common glue in water at
nearly boiling point, say one pound of glue to a gallon of water; add an
ounce or less of nitric acid to hold it in solution, and bottle. The more
glue, the stronger the preparation.
The pain-killers and liniments are the most costly, on account of the
alcohol necessary to their manufacture; and, in fact, the principal item
of expense in all liquid medical articles put up for public sale, is in
the alcohol essential to their preservation against the extremes of heat
and cold to which they may be subjected.
SOURED SWILL.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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