He tried to say more, but his heart choked him.
She closed her eyes, and the peace poured over her, and sank in. Her
heart beat quietly.
She opened her eyes and turned them on her husband. She knew that it was
his gaze that had compelled them to open. She smiled to herself, like a
young girl, shyly but happily aware of him, and turned from him to her
contemplation of the woods.
Anne had always rather prided herself on her susceptibility to the beauty
of nature, but it had never before reached her with this poignant touch.
Hitherto she had drawn it in with her eyes only; now it penetrated her
through every nerve. She was vaguely but deliciously aware of her own
body as a part of it, and of her husband's joy in contemplating her.
"He thinks me good-looking," she said to herself, and the thought came to
her as a revelation.
Then her young memory woke again and thrust at her.
"He thinks me good-looking. That's why he married me."
She longed to find out if it were so.
"Walter," said she, "I want to ask you a question."
"Well--if it's an easy one."
"It isn't--very. What made you want to marry me?"
He paused a moment, searching for the truth.
"Your goodness."
"Is that really true?"
"To the best of my belief, madam, it is."
"But there are so many other women better than me."
"Possibly. I haven't been happy enough to meet them."
"And if you had met them?"
"As far as I can make out, I shouldn't have fallen in love with them.
I shouldn't have fallen in love with _you_, if it hadn't been for your
goodness. But I shouldn't have fallen in love with your goodness in any
other woman."
"Have you known many other women?"
"One way and another, in the course of my life--yes. And what I liked so
much about you was your difference from those other women. You gave me
rest from them and their ways. They bored me even when I was half in love
with them, and made me restless for them even when I wasn't a little bit.
It was as if they were always expecting something from me--I couldn't
for the life of me tell what--always on the look out, don't you know, for
some mysterious moment that never arrived."
She thought she knew. She felt that he was describing vaguely and with
incomparable innocence the approaches of the ladies who had once designed
to marry him. He had never seen through them; they (and they must have
been so obvious, those ladies) had remained for him inscrutable,
mysterious. He could deal competently with effects, but he was not clever
at assigning causes.
He seemed conscious of her reflections. "They were quite nice, don't you
know. Only they couldn't let you alone. You let me alone so perfectly.
Being with you was peace."
"I see," she said quietly. "It was peace. That was all."
"Oh, was it? That was only the beginning, if you must know how it began."
"It began," she murmured, "in peace. That was what struck you most in me.
I must have seemed to you at peace, then."
"You did--you did. Weren't you?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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