Great Britain -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; South African War, 1899-1902 -- Fiction
Mary suddenly became radiant, and Colonel Parsons gave her a happy
little smile and a friendly nod.... At last James had his opportunity.
He lingered while Mary gathered together her music, and waited again to
light his pipe, so that when they came out of the Vicarage gates the
rest of the company were no longer in sight. The day had become overcast
and sombre; on the even surface of the sky floated little ragged black
clouds, like the fragments cast to the wind of some widowed, ample
garment. It had grown cold, and James, accustomed to a warmer air,
shivered a little. The country suddenly appeared cramped and
circumscribed; in the fading light a dulness of colour came over tree
and hedgerow which was singularly depressing. They walked in silence,
while James looked for words. All day he had been trying to find some
manner to express himself, but his mind, perplexed and weary, refused to
help him. The walk to Mary's house could not take more than five
minutes, and he saw the distance slipping away rapidly. If he meant to
say anything it must be said at once; and his mouth was dry, he felt
almost a physical inability to speak. He did not know how to prepare the
way, how to approach the subject; and he was doubly tormented by the
absolute necessity of breaking the silence.
But it was Mary who spoke first.
"D'you know, I've been worrying a little about you, Jamie."
"Why?"
"I'm afraid I hurt your feelings yesterday. Don't you remember, when we
were visiting my patients--I think I spoke rather harshly. I didn't mean
to. I'm very sorry."
"I had forgotten all about it," he said, looking at her. "I have no
notion what you said to offend me."
"I'm glad of that," she answered, smiling, "but it does me good to
apologise. Will you think me very silly if I say something to you?"
"Of course not!"
"Well, I want to say that if I ever do anything you don't like, or don't
approve of, I wish you would tell me."
After that, how could he say immediately that he no longer loved her,
and wished to be released from his engagement?
"I'm afraid you think I'm a very terrifying person," answered James.
Her words had made his announcement impossible; another day had gone,
and weakly he had let it pass.
"What shall I do?" he murmured under his breath. "What a coward I am!"
They came to the door of the Clibborns' house and Mary turned to say
good-bye. She bent forward, smiling and blushing, and he quickly kissed
her.
* * *
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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