_November 4._—“[At Lebanon.] Saw much of my nothingness most of this day; but felt concerned that I had no more sense of my insufficiency and unworthiness. O it is sweet _lying in the dust_! But it is distressing to feel in my soul that hell of corruption which still remains in me. In the afternoon had a sense of the sweetness of a strict, close, and constant devotedness to God, and my soul was comforted with his consolations. My soul felt a pleasing, yet painful concern, lest I should spend some moments _without God_. O may I always _live to God_! In the evening I was visited by some friends, and spent the time in prayer, and such conversation as tended to our edification. It was a comfortable season to my soul: I felt an intense desire to spend every moment for God. God is unspeakably gracious to me continually. In times past, he has given me inexpressible sweetness in the performance of duty. Frequently my soul has enjoyed much of God; but has been ready to say, “Lord, it is good to be here,” and so to indulge sloth, while I have lived on my enjoyments. But of late, God has been pleased to keep my soul _hungry_, almost continually; so that I have been filled with a kind of pleasing pain. When I really enjoy God I feel my desires of him the more insatiable, and my thirstings after holiness the more unquenchable; and the Lord will not allow me to feel as though I were fully supplied and satisfied, but keeps me still reaching forward. I feel barren and empty, as though I could not live without more of God; I feel ashamed and guilty _before him_. I see that “the law is spiritual, but I am carnal.” I do not, I cannot live to God. O for holiness! O for more of God in my soul! O this pleasing pain! It makes my soul press after God; the language of it is, “Then shall I be satisfied, when I awake in God’s likeness,” but never, never before: and consequently, I am engaged to “press toward the mark,” day by day. O that I may feel this continual hunger, and not be retarded, but rather animated, by every cluster from Canaan, to reach forward in the narrow way for the full enjoyment and possession of the heavenly inheritance! O that I may never loiter in my heavenly journey!” _Lord’s day, Nov. 7._—“[At Millington.] It seemed as if such an unholy wretch as I never could arrive at that blessedness, to be “holy, as God is holy.” At noon, I longed for sanctification, and conformity to God. O that is THE ALL, THE ALL. The Lord help me to _press after God_ for ever.