The Lighter Side of English LifeMoore, Frank Frankfort
General
The Lighter Side of English Life
Moore, Frank Frankfort
England -- Social life and customs; England -- Social life and customs -- Humor
Mr. Ritchie greeted him warmly and so volubly as saved the clergyman
the need for introducing any of the professional inanities which are
supposed to smooth the way to an honourable _rapprochement_ be-ween a
pastor and an unknown member of his pastorate. The parson had not really
a word to say when Mr. Ritchie got upon the topic of teeth, and warned
his visitor that he must be very careful in his use of the Mallingham
water until he should get accustomed to it. It had an injurious effect
upon the natural enamel of the teeth of the lower jaw, he said.
“I will explain to you what I mean, if you will kindly sit here,” he
added, pointing to the iron-framed chair, the shape of which expresses
the most excruciating comfort to a dentist's clientele. The curate,
wishing to be all things to all men, though he had no intention of being
a dentist's “example,” smiled and seated himself. In an instant Mr.
Ritchie had him in his power; bending over him, he gently scraped away
some of the “enamel” from one of his front teeth and, exhibiting a speck
on the end of the steel scraper, explained the chemical changes which
an unguarded use of the chalky water of the town supply would have upon
that substance, though it made no difference to the secretions of the
glands of the upper jaw.
This was very interesting and civil, if somewhat “shoppy,” of Mr.
Ritchie, the clergyman thought, and once more opened his mouth to allow
of the dentist's obtaining a sample of the alkaline deposit to which he
had alluded. But the moment his jaws were apart Mr. Ritchie made a sound
as of a sudden indrawing of his breath.
“Ha, what have we here?” he cried. “Nasty, nasty! but not too far
gone--no, I sincerely hope, not too far gone. One moment.” He had
inserted a little shield-shaped mirror in the curate's mouth and was
pressing it gently against an upper tooth. “Ah yes, as I thought--a
little stuffing will save it. Nerve exposed. You are quite right to come
to me at once. A stitch in time, you know. It will hardly require any
drilling--only at the rough edges.”
The clergyman was not the man to protest against Mr. Ritchie's
civilities. He admitted that the tooth had given him some trouble the
previous year, but he had not thought it worth consulting a dentist
about.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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