Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
“Perhaps. I care. I like people who are well-made and beautiful. They
are of some use in the world. I understand why they are there. I cannot
understand why the ugly and crippled are there, however healthy they
may feel inside. Don’t you know how Turner spoils his pictures by
introducing a man like a bolster in the foreground? Well, in actual
life every landscape is spoilt by men of worse shapes still.”
“You sound like a bolster with the stuffing out.” They laughed. She
always blew his cobwebs away like this, with a puff of humorous
mountain air. Just now—the associations he attached to her were
various—she reminded him of a heroine of Meredith’s—but a heroine at
the end of the book. All had been written about her. She had played
her mighty part, and knew that it was over. He and he alone was not
content, and wrote for her daily a trivial and impossible sequel.
Last time they had talked about Gerald. But that was some six months
ago, when things felt easier. Today Gerald was the faintest blur.
Fortunately the conversation turned to Mr. Pembroke and to education.
Did women lose a lot by not knowing Greek? “A heap,” said Rickie,
roughly. But modern languages? Thus they got to Germany, which he had
visited last Easter with Ansell; and thence to the German Emperor, and
what a to-do he made; and from him to our own king (still Prince of
Wales), who had lived while an undergraduate at Madingley Hall. Here it
was. And all the time he thought, “It is hard on her. She has no right
to be walking with me. She would be ill with disgust if she knew. It is
hard on her to be loved.”
They looked at the Hall, and went inside the pretty little church. Some
Arundel prints hung upon the pillars, and Agnes expressed the opinion
that pictures inside a place of worship were a pity. Rickie did not
agree with this. He said again that nothing beautiful was ever to be
regretted.
“You’re cracked on beauty,” she whispered—they were still inside the
church. “Do hurry up and write something.”
“Something beautiful?”
“I believe you can. I’m going to lecture you seriously all the way
home. Take care that you don’t waste your life.”
They continued the conversation outside. “But I’ve got to hate my own
writing. I believe that most people come to that stage—not so early
though. What I write is too silly. It can’t happen. For instance, a
stupid vulgar man is engaged to a lovely young lady. He wants her to
live in the towns, but she only cares for woods. She shocks him this
way and that, but gradually he tames her, and makes her nearly as dull
as he is. One day she has a last explosion—over the snobby wedding
presents—and flies out of the drawing-room window, shouting, ‘Freedom
and truth!’ Near the house is a little dell full of fir-trees, and she
runs into it. He comes there the next moment. But she’s gone.”
“Awfully exciting. Where?”
“Oh Lord, she’s a Dryad!” cried Rickie, in great disgust. “She’s turned
into a tree.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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