Autobiographical fiction; England -- Fiction; Marriage -- Fiction; Teachers -- Fiction
“Why not? You can try. Even if you fail, you can try. Of course
we think you tremendously clever; and I met one of your dons at
tea, and he said that your degree was not in the least a proof of
your abilities: he said that you knocked up and got flurried in
examinations. Oh!”—her cheek flushed,—“I wish I was a man. The whole
world lies before them. They can do anything. They aren’t cooped up
with servants and tea parties and twaddle. But where’s this dell where
the Dryad disappeared?”
“We’ve passed it.” He had meant to pass it. It was too beautiful. All
he had read, all he had hoped for, all he had loved, seemed to quiver
in its enchanted air. It was perilous. He dared not enter it with such
a woman.
“How long ago?” She turned back. “I don’t want to miss the dell. Here
it must be,” she added after a few moments, and sprang up the green
bank that hid the entrance from the road. “Oh, what a jolly place!”
“Go right in if you want to see it,” said Rickie, and did not offer
to go with her. She stood for a moment looking at the view, for a few
steps will increase a view in Cambridgeshire. The wind blew her dress
against her. Then, like a cataract again, she vanished pure and cool
into the dell.
The young man thought of her feelings no longer. His heart throbbed
louder and louder, and seemed to shake him to pieces. “Rickie!”
She was calling from the dell. For an answer he sat down where he was,
on the dust-bespattered margin. She could call as loud as she liked.
The devil had done much, but he should not take him to her.
“Rickie!”—and it came with the tones of an angel. He drove his fingers
into his ears, and invoked the name of Gerald. But there was no sign,
neither angry motion in the air nor hint of January mist. June—fields
of June, sky of June, songs of June. Grass of June beneath him, grass
of June over the tragedy he had deemed immortal. A bird called out of
the dell: “Rickie!”
A bird flew into the dell.
• • • • •
“Did you take me for the Dryad?” she asked. She was sitting down with
his head on her lap. He had laid it there for a moment before he went
out to die, and she had not let him take it away.
“I prayed you might not be a woman,” he whispered.
“Darling, I am very much a woman. I do not vanish into groves and
trees. I thought you would never come.”
“Did you expect—?”
“I hoped. I called hoping.”
Inside the dell it was neither June nor January. The chalk walls barred
out the seasons, and the fir-trees did not seem to feel their passage.
Only from time to time the odours of summer slipped in from the wood
above, to comment on the waxing year. She bent down to touch him with
her lips.
He started, and cried passionately, “Never forget that your greatest
thing is over. I have forgotten: I am too weak. You shall never forget.
What I said to you then is greater than what I say to you now. What he
gave you then is greater than anything you will get from me.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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