Chinese -- England -- Fiction; England -- Fiction; Epistolary fiction; Humorous stories
The person whom I had first encountered suffered his face to become
excessively amused. “Say, stranger, do you take me for a pack-mule?”
he replied good-naturedly. “I already have about as much as I want to
handle. Never mind; we’ll come along with you, and Mr. Kong shall carry
your bullion.”
At this delicate and high-minded proposal a rapid change, in no way
complimentary to my explicit habit of adequately conducting any venture
upon which I may be engaged, came over the face of the second person.
“Sir,” he exclaimed, “I have nothing to say against this gentleman, but
I am under no obligation to him, and I don’t see why I should trust him
with everything I possess.”
“Stranger,” exclaimed the other rising to his feet (and from this point
it must be understood that the various details succeeded one another
with a really agile dexterity), “let me tell you that Mr. Kong is my
friend, and that ought to be enough.”
“It is. If you say this gentleman is your friend, and that you have
known him long and intimately enough to be able to answer for him,
that’s good enough for me.”
“Well,” admitted the first person, and I could not conceal from myself
that his tone was inauspiciously reluctant, “I can’t exactly say that
I’ve known him long; in fact I only met him half an hour ago. But I have
the fullest confidence in his integrity.”
“It’s just as I expected. Well, sir, you’re good-natured enough for
anything, but if you’ll excuse me, I must say that you’re a small piece
of an earthenware vessel after all”--the veiled allusion doubtlessly
being that the vessel of necessity being broken, the contents inevitably
escape--“and I hope you’re not being had.”
“I’m not, and I’ll prove it before we go out together,” retorted the
engaging one, who had in the meantime become so actively impetuous on my
account, that he did not remain content with the spoken words, but threw
the various belongings about as he mentioned them in a really profuse
display of inimitable vehemence. “Here, Kong, take this hyer pocket-book
whatever he says. Now on the top of that take everything I’ve got, and
you know what THAT figures up to. Now give this gentleman your little
lot to keep him quiet; I don’t ask for anything. Now, stranger, I’m
ready. You and I will take a stroll round the block and back again, and
if Mr. Kong isn’t waiting here for us when we return with everything
intact and O.K., I’ll double your deposit and never trust a durned soul
again.”
Nodding genially over his shoulder with a harmonious understanding,
expressive of the fact that we were embarking upon an undeniably
diverting episode, the benevolent-souled person who had accumulated more
riches than he was competent to melt away himself, passed out, urging
the doubtful and still protesting one before him.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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