The Politeness of Princes, and Other School StoriesWodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
General
The Politeness of Princes, and Other School Stories
Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville)
Schools -- Fiction
"Why, he tried to start a rival show. Wrote a prospectus and
everything. But it didn't catch on a bit. The only chap who bought any
of his lines was young Shoeblossom. He wanted a couple of hundred for
Appleby. Appleby was on to them like bricks. Spotted Shoeblossom
hadn't written them, and asked who had. He wouldn't say, so he got
them doubled. Everyone in the house is jolly sick with Merrett. They
think he ought to have owned up."
"Did that smash up Merrett's show? Is he going to turn out any more?"
"Rather not. Who'd buy 'em?"
It would have been better for the Lines Supplying Trust if Merrett had
not received this crushing blow and had been allowed to carry on a
rival business on legitimate lines. Locksley was conservative in its
habits, and would probably have continued to support the old firm.
As it was, the baffled Merrett, a youth of vindictive nature, brooded
over his defeat, and presently hit upon a scheme whereby things might
be levelled up.
One afternoon, shortly before lock-up, Dunstable was surprised by the
advent of Linton to his study in a bruised and dishevelled condition.
One of his expressive eyes was closed and blackened. He also wore what
is known in ring circles as a thick ear.
"What on earth's up?" inquired Dunstable, amazed at these phenomena.
"Have you been scrapping?"
"Yes--Merrett--I won. What are you up to--writing lines? You may as
well save yourself the trouble. They won't be any good." Dunstable
stared.
"The Trust's bust," said Linton.
He never wasted words in moments of emotion.
"What!"
"'Bust' was what I said. That beast Merrett gave the show away."
"What did he do? Surely he didn't tell a master?"
"Well, he did the next thing to it. He hauled out that prospectus, and
started reading it in form. I watched him do it. He kept it under the
desk and made a foul row, laughing over it. Appleby couldn't help
spotting him. Of course, he told him to bring him what he was reading.
Up went Merrett with the prospectus."
"Was Appleby sick?"
"I don't believe he was, really. At least, he laughed when he read the
thing. But he hauled me up after school and gave me a long jaw, and
made me take all the lines I'd got to his house. He burnt them. I had
it out with Merrett just now. He swears he didn't mean to get the
thing spotted, but I knew he did."
"Where did you scrag him!"
"In the dormitory. He chucked it after the third round."
There was a knock at the door.
"Come in," shouted Dunstable.
Buxton appeared, a member of Appleby's house.
"Oh, Dunstable, Appleby wants to see you."
"All right," said Dunstable wearily.
Mr. Appleby was in facetious mood. He chaffed Dunstable genially about
his prospectus, and admitted that it had amused him. Dunstable smiled
without enjoyment. It was a good thing, perhaps, that Mr. Appleby saw
the humorous rather than the lawless side of the Trust; but all the
quips in the world could not save that institution from ruin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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