Antisemitism -- Fiction; Jews -- Austria -- Fiction; Middle class -- Fiction; Vienna (Austria) -- Fiction
"I quite understand," said George. He believed her and loved her more
than before. They went into the church. It was almost dark within the
large building. There were only some dim candles burning in front of
a side altar, and opposite, behind the small statue of a saint, there
shone a feeble light. A broad stream of incense flowed between the dome
and the flagstones. The verger was walking, jangling his keys softly.
Motionless figures appeared vaguely on the seats at the back. George
slowly walked forward with Anna and felt like a young husband on his
honeymoon going sight-seeing in a church with his young wife. He said
so to Anna. She only nodded.
"But it would be very much nicer," whispered George, as they stood
nestling close together in front of the chancel, "if we really were
together somewhere abroad...."
She looked at him ecstatically and yet interrogatively: and he was
frightened at his own words. Supposing Anna had taken it as a serious
declaration or as a kind of wooing? Was he not obliged to enlighten her
that he had not meant it in that way?... He remembered the conversation
which they had had a short time ago, when they had gone out hanging on
to one umbrella on a rainy windy day in the direction of Schönbrunn. He
had suggested to her she should drive into the town with him and dine
with him in a private room in some restaurant; she had answered with
that iciness in which her whole being was sometimes frozen: "I don't do
that kind of thing." He had not pressed her further.
And yet a quarter of an hour later she had said to him, apropos no
doubt of a conversation about George's mode of life, but yet with a
smile of many possibilities: "You have no initiative, George." And he
had suddenly felt at that moment as though depths in her soul were
revealing themselves, undreamt-of and dangerous depths, which it would
be a good thing to beware of. He could not help now thinking of this
again. What was passing within her mind?... What did she want and what
was she ready for?... And what did he desire, what did he feel himself?
Life was so incalculable. Was it not perfectly possible that he should
go travelling about the world with her, live with her a period of
happiness and finally part from her just as he had parted from many
another?... Yet when he thought of the end that was inevitably bound to
come, whether death brought it or life itself, he felt a gentle grief
in his heart.... She still remained silent. Did she think again that
he was lacking in initiative?... Or did she think perhaps "I am really
going to succeed, I shall be his wife?..."
He then felt her hand stroke his very gently, with a kind of new
tenderness that did him great good.
"George," she said.
"What is it?" he asked.
"If I were religious," she replied, "I should like to pray for
something now."
"What for?" said George, feeling almost nervous.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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