The Silver Domino; Or, Side Whispers, Social and LiteraryCorelli, Marie
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The Silver Domino; Or, Side Whispers, Social and Literary
Corelli, Marie
English essays -- 19th century; Literature -- Criticism and interpretation; Satire
"O wondrous young man!" I muttered as I heard; "O marvel of the age!
Why do not the kings of the earth gather together to hear thy wisdom?
Why do not the councils of Europe wait to learn the arts of government
from thee? Wert thou at the right hand of Deity, I wonder, when worlds
were created and comets begotten?" ... Here, filled with ideas, I
poured more wine out for the moistening of the Wellingtonian beak, and
demanded feverishly--"Tell me, friend, of things that are unknown to
most men--tell me of the dark mysteries of time, which must be clear as
daylight to a brain like yours!--instruct me in faith and morals--show
me the paths of virtue--explain to me your theories of the future, of
creed--"
I stopped, choked by my own emotion; I felt I was on the point of
comprehending the incomprehensible--of grasping great facts made clear
through the astute perception of this literary Gamaliel. And he arose
in response to my adjuration; he expanded his manly chest, and stood
in an attitude of "attention"; his nose was redder than when he first
sat down to dine, and the vacuous chuckle of his laugh was music to my
soul.
"Creed!" said he. "Drop that! I'm not a church-goer. I've got one form
of faith though." And he chuckled once again.
"And that is?" I questioned eagerly.
"This!"
And with proud unction he recited the following simple formula:--
I believe in the _Times_.
And in the _Morning Post_, Maker of news fashionable and
unfashionable.
And in one _Truth_, the property of one Labby, the only-begotten
son of honesty in Journalism,
Who for us men and our salvation, socially, legally, and
politically,
Came down from Diplomacy into Bolt Court, Fleet Street,
And was there self-incarnated Destroyer of Shams. Labby of Labby,
Truth of Truth, Very Rad of Very Rad, Born not made, Being one
with himself and answerable to nobody for his opinions.
Member for Northampton, he suffered there, secured votes and was
left unburied,
And he sitteth in the House, save when he ariseth and speaketh,
And he will continue with triumph to judge all those that judge,
both the living and the dead,
Whose "legal pillory" shall have no end.
And I believe in one _Pall Mall Gazette_, Pure Giver of frequently
mistaken information, which proceedeth from pens feminine,
And which with the soporific _St. James's_, together, exerteth the
lungs of the newsboys.
I acknowledge one holy and absolute _Court Circular_.
I confess one "_Saturday_" for the flaying of new authors,
And I look for the death of the _Nineteenth Century_
And the life of a less dull magazine to come Amen.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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