‘Dear boy,’ she resumed in hushed, reverent tones. ‘The engagement is
the sweetest time in a woman’s life. The loveliest things your poor
dear father gave me. We were at Naples, you know, and one gets the most
charming corals there, and mosaics, and brooches carved out of lava. I
have got them all. And then your poor dear father and I used to go out
on to the terrace in the evening and look at the sunset and Vesuvius,
and the steamers coming into the bay. He used to take my hand, and we
stood there, saying nothing. There was nothing to say, dear. We both
felt too much. One does not want to talk. And sometimes he--he would
give me a kiss. And all the time--well, there was nothing else in the
world, somehow, but just ourselves. We were quite alone. We should have
been quite alone, even in a crowd.’
‘Ah, that is just exactly different with Gundred and me. We are never
alone. We should not be alone in the wilderness. Gundred seems to
live her life before an invisible audience of hundreds of people.
That is why one can never get near her real self; there is always the
consciousness of the audience restraining her.’
Lady Adela, however, was lost in roseate reminiscence.
‘So well I remember,’ she went on, ‘how the evening used to get darker
and darker as we stood on the terrace, and the smell of dinner used to
float up to us so deliciously from the ground-floor. Your poor dear
father adored the Neapolitan cookery, and we used to talk of how we
would have someone who could do _risotto_ when we were married and
settled down. But none of our cooks ever could. Dear me, and the lights
in the bay, and the warm, quiet darkness of it all, and just us two,
alone in the world.’
The sweet and innocent sentimentality of Lady Adela had succeeded in
draping the usual beautiful gauze of romance across an episode which,
in its time, had been marked by plain and practical precision. As ivy,
in the course of years, grows over the bare stone of a ruin, so does
romance cover over the hard bare facts of a woman’s past. No matter how
stark and cold it may have been, yet, if her nature be loving and soft,
its softness will subdue and transfigure the roughnesses of many crude
bygone days. By this time Lady Adela believed in her romantic marriage
as firmly as she believed in her vicar and her Sovereign.
‘So delightful it was to be with your poor dear father,’ she went on;
‘he was the kindest and most thoughtful of men. He always saw that I
had a footstool and a corner seat, and the sun nicely shaded off my
eyes. He used to come and sit by me, too, while I was sketching, and
read aloud to me until we both fell asleep. I have never liked any one
else to read aloud to me since. Mamma was very bustling and worldly,
and I was not at all happy with her. But when your poor dear father
came and found me, the whole of my life was changed. He was the fairy
prince that came to rescue me.’
‘But you told me once, my dear, that my father had once cared very much
for someone else.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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