Something within me, I don't know what, warned me that here it might be
well to be as careful as he. The safest thing to do appeared to be to
let him run on, and I did so.
"Yes," he continued, his fine smooth brow gathered in thought, "I know
it's enormous; perhaps too staggering altogether for one man. But do you
know," he laughed a little as if at himself, "I wonder whether it _is_
so enormous after all! There might be quite a simple idea underlying it,
I mean. What's more enormous than human nature? Yet every wretched
little novelist tackles that every time he writes a book. It all depends
on how much you see in a thing. I'm not so sure that I wouldn't as soon
tackle one day of the whole world's life as one single hour of a human
being's heart."
I spoke warily. "You haven't tackled it yet?"
He hesitated. "N--o," he said slowly. Then, quickening a little, "The
fact is, George, a job like that would have to be rather specially
approached. I mean unless you were at the very top of your form you'd be
bound to come a cropper. No good starting a thing till you know your
tools are sharp--in this case your faculties. I'm--I'm sharpening myself
now, if you know what I mean."
At this point I became incautious. I ceased to listen to the voice that
warned me too to be careful.
"Well, that's what I want to ask you," I said. "I want to know what
you're doing here and why you left Cambridge Circus like that."
I was instantly sorry I had said it. Just as wrestlers on a mat lie
locked, with little apparent movement, yet in the fiercest intensity of
prolonged strain, so I felt that something struggled in him. I heard it
in his voice, I saw it in the boyish grey-blue eyes that sought mine.
"Don't, please, old fellow," he pleaded anxiously. "If you mean the rot
I talked that other night, I apologise now once for all. I've been
hoping for months and mon--for a long time, I mean, that I might run
across you. You're so magnificently steady. That other place stopped
being steady.... This is the place to write that book. I want to write
it. I've never wanted anything so much. It would be on _Vicarage_ lines,
I suppose, but oh--immensely bigger! Freedom, scope! The _Vicarage_ was
well enough in its way, but fussy and niggly and scratchy. I can do this
largely, grandly--I _know_ so much more, you see--and as long as I don't
take any risks----"
Then, in spite of his own last words, he swung suddenly round, and the
youthful grey-blue eyes were all a-sparkle. They sparkled with daring,
as if, though a risk was a risk, there was sometimes prudence in taking
it. The wicker of his chair began to creak under the working of his
hand.
"One little talk can't make much difference," he muttered. "Do me good
probably--magnificently steady----" Then he flashed brightly round on
me--an artist at the height of his power confronting a stupendous and
magnificent task.
"You see, don't you, George? You see how I'm placed, don't you?" he
demanded.
"Not very clearly."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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