German fiction -- Translations into English; Germany -- Fiction; Sin -- Fiction
Leo was silent. If he had spoken it would have been hypocrisy, and he
could not bring himself to that.
"When she had become calmer," Ulrich went on, "I told her of our
conversation, and of the fears you had entertained about the
continuance of our intercourse. I wanted to prove to her by that, how
much you had considered the condition of her feelings. But the effect
was quite contrary from what I had expected. Especially what you said
about the child seemed to excite her to the last degree. Forgive me,
dear old boy, if it was a blunder to repeat it. I hoped it would help
both you and me. Why should I repeat to you all her expressions of
resentment against you? It is unnecessary to tear open old wounds. You
may believe me that I know how to distinguish between the hysterical
exaggerations to which she gave vent in her grief, and the grief
itself. But that is genuine enough, and when she says, 'How can I touch
your hand, when I know that to-day it has lain in the hand which struck
down my child's father?'--when she says that she is right, a thousand
times right. I ought to have foreseen it all, before I linked her fate
with mine. Now it is done, and, in your words, it has come to the
decision. 'You must choose between me and her.'"
Still Leo was silent. The fatal image of the woman glided before his
eyes. It seemed to melt into the gold of the evening clouds, and with
the damp mist to fill the darkening world.
How came it that she had been able to rob him of what was dearest to
him on earth? And, what was worse than anything else, she was
justified. It was only strange that she, who, as a rule, was given to
half-measures, and avoided anything like resolute action, had proved
herself, in this, almost firmer than he was. But then, of course, she
had no friend to lose....
"I thank you, old boy," Ulrich went on, "for not reproaching or
laughing at me. Not that any contradiction on your part would have been
of the least use. The facts are inexorable, and what we are doing is
the only natural course to take."
"Yes," Leo assented, staring out of the window.
If Ulrich had only guessed what truth he was speaking!
"And now there is nothing more to say, except, as it were, to make my
last bequests. When you want me, I shall come to you--at any hour of
the day or night, in good or evil fortune. I shall expect the same from
you, even though in ordinary circumstances we shall have no alternative
but to pass each other by with a silent pressure of the hand."
"It must be as you decide," said Leo; and he felt a dull aching at his
heart.
Ulrich sat rigid and upright, every muscle brought into obedience to
the power of his will. His burning eyes rested unwaveringly on his
friend's face, as if he would fain absorb him with his gaze. Not once
did his voice tremble.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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