The Whole History of Grandfather's Chair: Or, True Stories from New England History, 1620-1808Hawthorne, Nathaniel
History
The Whole History of Grandfather's Chair: Or, True Stories from New England History, 1620-1808
Hawthorne, Nathaniel
Massachusetts -- History -- Colonial period, ca. 1600-1775 -- Juvenile literature
Now a class in Latin is called to recite. Forth steps a rowel
queer-looking little fellows, wearing square-skirted coats and
small-clothes, with buttons at the knee. They look like so many
grandfathers in their second-childhood. These lads are to be sent to
Cambridge and educated for the learned professions. Old Master Cheever
had lived so long, and seen so many generations of school-boys grow up
to be men, that now he can almost prophesy what sort of a man each boy
will be. One urchin shall hereafter be a doctor, and administer pills
and potions, and stalk gravely through life, perfumed with assafoetida.
Another shall wrangle at the bar, and fight his way to wealth and honors
and, in his declining age, shall be a worshipful member of his Majesty’s
council. A third-and he is the master’s favorite--shall be a worthy
successor to the old Puritan ministers now in their graves; he shall
preach with great unction and effect, and leave volumes of sermons, in
print and manuscript, for the benefit of future generations.
But, as they are merely school-boys now, their business is to construe
Virgil. Poor Virgil! whose verses, which he took so much pains to
polish, have been misscanned, and misparsed, and misinterpreted by so
many generations of idle school-boys. There, sit down, ye Latinists. Two
or three of you, I fear, are doomed to feel the master’s ferule.
Next comes a class in arithmetic. These boys are to be the merchants,
shopkeepers, and mechanics of a future period. Hitherto they have traded
only in marbles and apples. Hereafter some will send vessels to England
for broadcloths and all sorts of manufactured wares, and to the
West Indies for sugar, and rum, and coffee. Others will stand behind
counters, and measure tape, and ribbon, and cambric by the yard. Others
will upheave the blacksmith’s hammer, or drive the plane over the
carpenter’s bench, or take the lapstone and the awl and learn the
trade of shoemaking. Many will follow the sea, and become bold, rough
sea-captains.
This class of boys, in short, must supply the world with those active,
skilful hands, and clear, sagacious heads, without which the affairs
of life would be thrown into confusion by the theories of studious and
visionary men. Wherefore, teach them their multiplication-table, good
Master Cheever, and whip them well when they deserve it; for much of the
country’s welfare depends on these boys.
But, alas! while, we have been thinking of other matters, Master
Cheever’s watchful eye has caught two boys at play. Now we shall see
awful times. The two malefactors are summoned before the master’s chair,
wherein he sits with the terror of a judge upon his brow. Our old chair
is now a judgment-seat. Ah, Master Cheever has taken down that terrible
birch rod! Short is the trial,--the sentence quickly passed,--and now
the judge prepares to execute it in person. Thwack! thwack! thwack! In
these good old times, a schoolmaster’s blows were well laid on.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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