And thus, casually as he would light a match for his cigarette, casually
as he would stumble over something, casually as he would pick up a book,
he met _La Mielleuse_ on the road to Aix....
Section 4
For days now he had been aware of her presence in Marseilles without
thinking of her--aware of her as he was aware of the Hotel de Ville, or
of the Consigne, as of the obelisk in the Place Castellane. These things
were facts, had their place, and she was a fact. She had become
imprinted on his memory as on a sensitive plate. So one dusk on the
Prado, as he met her, he was no more surprised than if, in their
appointed places he had come across the obelisk or the Consigne or the
Hotel de Ville.
She was standing looking out to sea, and the little wind from Africa
blew against her, and made her seem poised for flight, like a bird.
And because he saw no reason why he shouldn't and because he was direct
and simple as the sea itself, he went to her.
"Are you a sea-captain's wife?"
"No, Monsieur." She seemed to know him without turning. Perhaps she
recognized his voice.
"I saw you looking out toward the Pharo. I thought perhaps you were
waiting for some one to come home on a ship."
"No," she said slowly. "No. I--I come here some dusks, and look out to
sea. There is something. It seems to pull me. The great waters and the
blinking lighthouse--I seem to stand out of myself. And miles and miles
and miles away there is a new land with a new life where one might go
... and begin.... What is in me seems to struggle to go out there, but
it never gets more than an inch or so outside. But even that.... And the
wind ... so clean. Are you a sailor?"
"Yes, I am a sailor."
"It is very beautiful and very pure, the sea?"
"Yes, sometimes it is very beautiful. I think it is always beautiful.
And it must be pure--I never thought.... It is strong, and sometimes
cruel. It heals, and sometimes it is very lonely. One never quite
understands. It is so big."
"Yes, so big and strong ... and it heals. One seems, one's self, one's
little cares, to be so little."
And they were silent for a while.
"But perhaps I intrude, Madame. Your husband----"
"My husband is dead in Algiers these six years."
"I am sorry."
Everything was hushed, the tideless sea, the silent wind. Behind them,
and still about them, hung the strange dusk of Pontius Pilate. Before
them blazed Marseilles.
"You are married?"
"I was married."
"Then your wife is--dead?"
"Yes, Madame, she is dead."
"You grieve?"
"No, I do not grieve."
"Did you not love her?"
"I loved some one I thought was she. It wasn't she."
There was another instant's silence as they walked.
"Ah, I think I understand," she said. And they walked into the blaze of
the city. She paused for a moment.
"Will you pardon me for asking things like that? I don't usually.... But
in the dusk I seem to be another person...."
"No. In the light we are other persons."
"Ah," she smiled understandingly. "You are going to your ship now?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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