American literature -- Humor; American wit and humor
trembled for its safety)--and to smite with his hand, I will _smite_
with my hand--(slapping alternate hands on alternate thighs.)--Yes! and
I will shout, too!--and cry aloud, and spare not--glory!
for--ever!--(and here his voice rang out like the sweet, clear tones of
a bugle).
"And, therefore, my dear sisters and brethren, let us walk worthy of our
vocation; not with the natural legs of the physical corporation, but in
the apostolical way, with the metaphysical and figurative legs of the
mind--(here Mr. N. caught some one smiling).--Take care, sinner, take
care! curl not the scornful nose--I'm willing to be a fool for
religion's sake--but turn not up the scornful nose--do its ministers no
harm! Sinner, mark me!--in yon deep and tangled grove, where tall,
aspiring trees wave green and lofty heads in the free air of balmy
skies--there sinner, an hour ago, when the sonorous horn called on our
embattled hosts to go to private prayer! an hour ago, in yonder grove I
knelt and prayed for you!--(hooh!)--yes! I prayed some poor soul might
be given for my hire!--and he promised me one!--(Glory! glory!--ah! give
him one!)--laughing sinner!--take care!--I'll have you!--(Grant
it--amen!--ooohoo!) Look out, I'm going to fire--(assuming the attitude
of rifle-shooting)--bang!--may He send that through your heart!--may it
pierce clean home through joints and marrow!--and let all people say
amen!--(and here amen _was_ said, and not in the tame style of the
American Archbishop of Canterbury's cathedral, be assured; but whether
the spiritual bullet hit the chap aimed at, I never learned; if it did,
his groans were inaudible in the alarming thunder of that amen).
"Ay! ay! that's the way! that's the way! don't be ashamed of your
vocation--that's the way to walk and let your light shine! Now, some
wise folks despise light, and call for miracles: but when we can't have
one kind of light, let us be philosophical, and take another. For my
part, when I'm bogging about these dark woods, far away in the silent,
somber shadows, I rejoice in sunshine; and would prefer it of choice,
rather than all other celestial and translucent luminaries: but when the
gentle fanning zephyrs of the shadowy night breathe soft among the
trembling leaves and sprays of the darkening forests, then I rejoice in
moonshine: and when the moonshine dims and pales away, with the waning
silvery queen of heaven in her azure zone, I look up to the blue concave
of the circular vault, and rejoice in starlight. No! _no!_ NO! any
light!--give us any light rather than _none_!--(Ah, do, good--!) Yes!
yes! we are the light of the world, and so let us let our light shine,
whether sunshine, or moonshine, or starlight!--(oohoo!)--and then the
poor benighted sinner, bogging about this terraqueous, but dark and
mundane sphere, will have a light like a pole star of the distant north,
to point and guide him to the sunlit climes of yonder world of bright
and blazing bliss!"--(A-a-amen!)
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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