Americans -- England -- Fiction; Diary fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- England -- Fiction
The doctor and the village nurse took charge of her; when she was ready
for burial, more quiet than earth itself,--one never knows quiet until
one sees it so,--I put roses beside her; one of the county ladies keeps
me supplied from her conservatory. Yet I hesitated; it seemed wrong to
recall in this presence any mere tangible and visible beauty, or aught
from the world of things. The lovely contours and outlines, the perfume
of the roses reproached me, as if I were pursuing her to bring her back
to mere self, hampering her escape. With her we seemed to be swept away
into some great consciousness that meant relief from individual
sorrow,--sharing her rest, a repose so deep that it rested us for all
the days to come.
Madge mourned over her as if it were her own mother,--I hardly know
why: could it have been merely the three days of trying to care for
her? Or was she touched, in some depth of her nature never reached
before, by the grandeur of that loneliness?
There was a brief service in the little church on the hill, a sound of
song, of praying; but nothing in the burial service could quite express
the pathos of that moment when we buried some one's mother, not even
knowing her name. We left her in the churchyard, within hearing of the
stream, where deep shadows fall on grave after grave. This cold winter
grass which grows above the other graves will soon, with the quickening
of spring, cover hers also; already it is freshening, and crocuses peep
out here and there.
There is no name to put on a stone at her head. It is perhaps at best
folly to mark the resting-places of the dead, yet I had a feeling that
no token of respect must be lacking, and I begged that an old grey
tombstone, standing by the churchyard wall, a stone so old that all
that was carved on it has been worn away, might be placed at her head.
It has told the passing of one human soul, and shall tell that of
another; in its grey, fine-worn beauty it symbolizes the vast
impersonality of the end.
I come here now even oftener than I used. Surely death has never
appeared so gentle, so much a member of the family, as in these English
churchyards with their sweet hominess. It seems fitting that we meet
"My sister, the Death of the Body" on these grass-grown paths which
wear a look of every day and common happenings. The little river, the
lichen-grown stones, the sense of long continuance, give one a feeling
that there are no gaps, no fissures between life and death, that the
sight of the eyes slips inevitably into the vision of the soul. The sky
seems near in England, with the crumbling grey of old Norman tower and
churchyard wall touching its veiled blue, and the low white clouds
almost within reach; the old home-like look of the flat stones makes
one feel as if the sleepers are still, as it were, sitting on the
threshold, or on the old bench by the door. There is no sense of
distance or separation, no feeling of far away.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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