England -- Fiction; Patent medicines -- Marketing -- Fiction; Pharmaceutical industry -- Fiction; Satire; Science fiction
My uncle would not own he did not, but his curiosity was manifest. My
mother sat down on one of the little chairs before the soap and patent
medicine-piled counter, and her lips opened and closed.
“A glass of water, madam,” said my uncle, waved his hand in a sort of
curve and shot away.
My mother drank the water and spoke. “That boy,” she said, “takes after
his father. He grows more like him every day.... And so I have brought
him to you.”
“His father, madam?”
“George.”
For a moment the chemist was still at a loss. He stood behind the
counter with the glass my mother had returned to him in his hand. Then
comprehension grew.
“By Gosh!” he said. “Lord!” he cried. His glasses fell off. He
disappeared replacing them, behind a pile of boxed-up bottles of blood
mixture. “Eleven thousand virgins!” I heard him cry. The glass was
banged down. “O-ri-ental Gums!”
He shot away out of the shop through some masked door. One heard his
voice. “Susan! Susan!”
Then he reappeared with an extended hand. “Well, how are you?” he said.
“I was never so surprised in my life. Fancy!... _You!_”
He shook my mother’s impassive hand and then mine very warmly holding
his glasses on with his left forefinger.
“Come right in!” he cried—“come right in! Better late than never!” and
led the way into the parlour behind the shop.
After Bladesover that apartment struck me as stuffy and petty, but it
was very comfortable in comparison with the Frapp living-room. It had a
faint, disintegrating smell of meals about it, and my most immediate
impression was of the remarkable fact that something was hung about or
wrapped round or draped over everything. There was bright-patterned
muslin round the gas-bracket in the middle of the room, round the
mirror over the mantel, stuff with ball-fringe along the mantel and
casing in the fireplace,—I first saw ball-fringe here—and even the lamp
on the little bureau wore a shade like a large muslin hat. The
table-cloth had ball-fringe and so had the window curtains, and the
carpet was a bed of roses. There were little cupboards on either side
of the fireplace, and in the recesses, ill-made shelves packed with
books, and enriched with pinked American cloth. There was a dictionary
lying face downward on the table, and the open bureau was littered with
foolscap paper and the evidences of recently abandoned toil. My eye
caught “The Ponderevo Patent Flat, a Machine you can Live in,” written
in large firm letters. My uncle opened a little door like a cupboard
door in the corner of this room, and revealed the narrowest twist of
staircase I had ever set eyes upon. “Susan!” he bawled again. “Wantje.
Some one to see you. Surprisin’.”
There came an inaudible reply, and a sudden loud bump over our heads as
of some article of domestic utility pettishly flung aside, then the
cautious steps of someone descending the twist, and then my aunt
appeared in the doorway with her hand upon the jamb.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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