MR. F. (_gloomily_). Yes, he _might_--only, he--er--_didn't_, you know! Bricks without Straw SCENE--_A Village School-room. A Juvenile Treat is in progress, and a Magic Lantern, hired for the occasion, "with set of slides complete--to last one hour," is about to be exhibited._ THE VICAR'S DAUGHTER (_suddenly recognizing the New Curate, who is blinking unsuspectingly in the lantern rays_). Oh, Mr. Tootler, you've just come in time to help us! The man with the lantern says he only manages the slides, and can't do the talking part. And I've asked lots of people, and no one will volunteer. _Would_ you mind just explaining the pictures to the children? It's only a little Nursery tale--_Valentine and Orson_--I chose that, because it's less hackneyed, and has such an excellent _moral_, you know. I'm sure you'll do it so _beautifully_! MR. TOOTLER (_a shy man_). I--I'd do it with pleasure, I'm sure--only I really don't know anything about _Valentine and Orson_! THE V.'S D. Oh, what _does_ that matter? I can tell you the outline in two minutes. (_She tells him._) But it's got to last an hour, so you must spin it out as much as ever you can. MR. TOOTLER (_to himself_). Ought I to neglect such a golden opportunity of winning these young hearts? No. (_Aloud._) I will--er--do my best, and perhaps I had better begin at once, as they seem to be getting--er--rather unruly at the further end of the room. (_He clears his throat._) Children, you must be very quiet and attentive, and then we shall be able, as we purpose this evening, to show you some scenes illustrative of the--er--beautiful old story of _Valentine and Orson_, which I doubt not is familiar to you all. (_Rustic applause, conveyed by stamping and shrill cheers, after which a picture is thrown on the screen representing a Village Festival._) Here, children, we have a view of--er--(_with sudden inspiration_)--Valentine's Native Village. It is--er--his birthday, and Valentine, being a young man who is universally beloved on account of his amiability and good conduct--(_To the_ VICAR'S D. "Is that correct?" THE V.'S D. "Quite, _quite_ correct!")--good conduct, the villagers are celebrating the--er--auspicious event by general rejoicings. How true it is that if we are only _good_, we may, young as we are, count upon gaining the affection and esteem of all around us! (_A Youthful Rustic, with a tendency to heckle._ "Ef 'ee plaze, Zur, which on 'em be Valentoine?") Valentine, we may be very sure, would not be absent on such an occasion, although, owing to the crowd, we cannot distinguish him. But, wherever he is, however he may be occupied, he little thinks that, before long, he will have to encounter the terrible Orson, the Wild Man of the Woods! Ah, dear children, we all have our Wild Man of the Woods to fight. With _some of_ us it is--(_He improves the occasion_). Our next picture represents--(_To_ ASSISTANT). Sure this comes next? Oh, they're all