"That's the one you got to--; it only requires a stud at the back; you said it was a 'great idea.'" "See a stud, then." "I haven't one, dear; didn't you get one with the shirt? Never mind, I'll fix it with a pin; it'll do for the night." "All right, look alive. What are you--? You needn't pin it to my neck. Where's my tie? fasten it up." "Can't you put on your own clothes yet, dear?" said Mrs. M'Cranky venturing on a mild retaliation. "Smart, eh? where's my--. Oh, here it is. Now, hurry up; you're no further on than when I came into the room, and I'm nearly dressed." "I've been attending to you, dear." "Now, look here, we've only--. Hullo, my watch is standing." "Perhaps you forgot to wind it up when you came home from that dinner last n--this morning." "Where's the key? it's a strange thing women must dust everything out of sight. I've spoken till I'm tired, but you're all the same. Where is the key? I put it in the tray last night, and it's away. Can you not get it into that idiot's head to leave these things where she finds them?" M'Cranky will not profit by experience; he has a feeling that whenever he puts out the gas, his slippers quietly creep under the bed or the dressing-table, and he has not yet discovered that their apparently supernatural disappearance is due to the way he throws them off. He has also to learn, in spite of years of experience, that looking for anything is not his forte, and that the missing article is generally where he left it, or in his pocket. "If you left it there, it must be----" "Left it there? Of course I did; I always put it in that tray; but of all the idiots you ever had, I think this one beats them. Tell her to go for a cab." Mrs. M'Cranky rang, and hearing her say: "Tell Dickson to send a cab in about five minutes, Sarah," her husband continued: "Look alive, then, an' get dressed. The concert's to-night, you know. Where's my hanky? You always let me out without one, unless I remember. "I laid one out for you, dear." "Let's see you lift it then." Mrs. M'Cranky was busy coiling up her hair and fastening it with hairpins, taking them from the usual receptacle (her mouth), so that she could not speak distinctly. "I waid it on the beb, dear." "Oh, you 'waid it on the beb,' did you? Would you just indicate where that is?" Mrs. M'Cranky looked round and said: "There it's in your breast, dear." "Look alive then; I don't want to go in late, as if it were church, and you had a new bonnet on. Hurry up; I'm all ready." "Are you going in your stocking soles, dear?" "Where's my shoes? Oh, here they are, now; hurry up, if you intend to go." "I'm ready, dear; have you got everything?" "Yes, yes; come on, for any sake." Mrs. M'Cranky can't leave the house without giving the domestic a lot of instructions, and, as usual, when she was in the lobby, she began: "Sarah, put out the gas in the dining-room and shut the door, and keep the cat in the----" "Oh, come on."