The Englishman said, "Give it to me, and I will give you twenty bundles of English lace, for we English can spin cheaper than the Yankees." But a custom-house officer standing by, said to the laborer, "My good fellow, make your exchange, if you choose, with Brother Jonathan, but it is my duty to prevent your doing so with the Englishman." "What!" exclaimed the countryman, "you wish me to take fifteen bundles of New England lace, when I can have twenty from Manchester!" "Certainly," replied the custom-house officer; "do you not see that the United States would be a loser if you were to receive twenty bundles instead of fifteen?" "I can scarcely understand this," said the laborer. "Nor can I explain it," said the custom-house officer, "but there is no doubt of the fact; for congressmen, ministers, and editors, all agree that a people is impoverished in proportion as it receives a large compensation for any given quantity of its produce." The countryman was obliged to conclude his bargain with the Yankee. His daughter received but three-fourths of her present; and these good folks are still puzzling themselves to discover how it can happen that people are ruined by receiving four instead of three; and why they are richer with three dozen bundles of lace instead of four. CHAPTER IX. A WONDERFUL DISCOVERY. At this moment, when all minds are occupied in endeavoring to discover the most economical means of transportation; when, to put these means into practice, we are levelling roads, improving rivers, perfecting steamboats, establishing railroads, and attempting various systems of traction, atmospheric, hydraulic, pneumatic, electric, &c.; at this moment, when, I believe, every one is seeking in sincerity and with ardor the solution of this problem--"_To bring the price of things in their place of consumption, as near as possible to their price in that of production_"--I would believe myself to be acting a culpable part towards my country, towards the age in which I live, and towards myself, if I were longer to keep secret the wonderful discovery which I have just made. I am well aware that the self-illusions of inventors have become proverbial, but I have, nevertheless, the most complete certainty of having discovered an infallible means of bringing produce from all parts of the world into the United States, and reciprocally to transport ours, with a very important reduction of price. Infallible! and yet this is but a single one of the advantages of my astonishing invention, which requires neither plans nor devices, neither preparatory studies, nor engineers, nor machinists, nor capital, nor stockholders, nor governmental assistance! There is no danger of shipwrecks, of explosions, of shocks of fire, nor of displacement of rails! It can be put into practice without preparation almost any day we think proper!