“The _monjayin’_ got worse all the time and our nerves began to get just like a ragged toothache. So many of the fellows was gettin’ bumped off and hit ’round us that a man couldn’t help wonderin’ if his own name wasn’t written on a shell or bullet. I saw fat guys get as lean as a penny stick of candy in a week’s time. There wasn’t no chance to shave or wash, so we all looked as wild as cannibals soon. I never had any underclothes after I threw away that stuff I got at Château-Thierry. We slept full pack all the time and the cooties had one big party all day and all night. That was the time, durin’ the Second Battle of the Marne, that young majors and colonels got gray-headed. “The second day out from St. Pierre was the day that I had a big argument with a lieutenant who blew by in a Ford. He was wearin’ a campaign hat. Course I felt superior like to any man that was wearin’ a campaign hat in them days. A campaign lid was the sign of an S. O. S. bird, ’cause we had thrown ’em to the salvage-men months ago. “I was ploddin’ along ’way behind the column, with Herb Carnes and another guy just as lazy—my horse had been taken by a loot. Course I happened to have my high hat on. I’d lost my overseas cap, also my helmet. The loot blows by. Never thought ’bout salutin’ him. That kind of stuff is a joke up at the front, especially in a drive. He stops _toot sweet_ and calls us back. “‘Why don’t you salute an officer?’ he asks me. “‘Salute?’ says I, kinda dumfounded. ‘Hell, we don’t go in for that kind of stuff in this sector,’ I told him. You ought to seen that man’s face. “‘How long have you men been over here?’ “‘Eleven months. How long have you been here?’ I knew he had just landed. His Sam Browne was new-lookin’. “‘How does New York look without any lights now?’ asked Carnes. “Say, that officer must have felt like fifty _centimes_. He saw my high hat ’bout that time. “‘Take that hat off. It isn’t regulation,’ says the second looey to me. [Illustration: “‘TAKE THAT HAT OFF. IT ISN’T REGULATION,’ SAYS THE SECOND LOOEY TO ME”] “‘Regulation’s out of style up here,’ says I. ‘It’s all I got; can’t take a chance of gettin’ sunstruck.’ “‘Don’t give a damn, take it off,’ he commands. “I tipped my hat to him, bowed, and says, ‘Yes, sir.’ We moved on. ’Bout thirty minutes later he blows by again and sees the hat on me. “‘Didn’t I tell you to take that hat off?’ he yells. “‘Yes, sir,’ I yelled back, and tipped my hat again. “Never saw that gink after that, but it just goes to show you how some of them guys fought the _guerre_, runnin’ ’round in Fords tryin’ to get salutes and make things, O. D. You never see any of our officers doin’ that kinda stuff. They know that it’s all bunk after bein’ with the boys in the lines.