"'Petered,' says the Colonel, an' thar's feelin's in his tones;
'pore Augustus cashes in. He's followin' me about one mornin'
watchin' me hook up--we was gettin' ready to move camp--an' all
inadvertent I backs the wagon onto Augustus. The hind wheel goes
squar' over him an' flattens Augustus out complete. He dies with his
eyes fixed on me, an' his looks says as plain as language, "Cheer
up, Colonel! This yere contreetemps don't change my affections, for
I knows it's a misdeal." You-all can gamble I don't do nothin' more
that day but mourn.'
"'Which I should shorely say so!' says Dan Boggs, an' his voice is
shakin'; 'a-losin' of a gifted horned toad like Augustus! I'd a-
howled like a wolf.'
"'But as I'm sayin',' resoomes the Colonel, after comfortin' himse'f
with about four fingers; 'speakin' of the transmigration of souls, I
goes off wrong about Hoppin' Harry that time. I takes it, he used to
be one of these yere Eastern toads on account of his gait. But I'm
erroneous. Harry, who is little an' spry an' full of p'isen that a-
way, used to be a t'rant'ler. Any gent who'll take the trouble to
recall one of these hairy, hoppin' t'rant'ler spiders who jumps
sideways at you, full of rage an' venom, is bound to be reminded
partic'lar of Hoppin' Harry.'
"'What did you-all use to be yourse'f, Colonel?' asks Enright, who
notices that Hoppin' Harry is beginnin' to bristle some, like he
ain't pleased none with these yere revelations. 'What for a anamile
was you before you're a hooman?'
"'I was a good-nachered hoss,' says the Colonel mighty confident an'
prompt; 'I'm a good-nachered hoss in a country neighborhood, an'
everybody rides me that wants to. However, I allows we better shift
the subject some. If we-all talks about these yere insects an'
reptiles a little longer, Huggins over thar--whose one weakness is
he's too frank with an' puts too much confidence in his licker--will
have another one of them attacks of second sight, which Peets cures
him of that time, an' commence seein' a multitood of heinous
visions.'
"'Of course,' says Enright, plumb p'lite, 'of course, Colonel, I can
tell a whole lot about your fam'ly by jest lookin' at you;
partic'lar where as at present you're about ten drinks ahead; still
thar's nothin' gives me more pleasure than hearin' about the sire
from the colt; an' if you won't receive it resentful, I'd ask you as
to your folks back in Kaintuck.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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