Yorkshire Ditties, First Series: To Which Is Added The Cream Of Wit And Humour From His Popular WritingsHartley, John
General
Yorkshire Ditties, First Series: To Which Is Added The Cream Of Wit And Humour From His Popular Writings
Hartley, John
Dialect poetry, English -- England -- Yorkshire; Poetry of places; Yorkshire (England) -- Poetry
What wi' laffin, an' talkin,' an' smookin, they gate to Blackstone
Edge Moor, an' some of the women thowt it time for a rest, soa Swallow
stop'd all at once an' said, "Do yo all see that stooan post 'at's
standin' thear? That's the stooan at devides Yorksher an' Lankysher,
an' aw think this a 'varry fit time to say a few words woll yo ease
yor legs a bit." Soa up he climb'd onto th' pooast, an' began praichin
away, an' kept at it woll they wor all hauf pined to deeath. At last
Lijah said, "Hang it up, ha long are ta baan to talk? aw wonder thi
conscience doesn't prick thee!" "Prick me!" he said, "Aw defy owt to
prick me when awm laborin' for a gooid cause." Just then he ovver
balanced hissel an' fell slap into th' middle ov a whin bush; but he
wor up in a crack, an' one o' th' lasses said, "if his conscience
hadn't getten prick'd summat else had," an' they went forrard, but
Swallow kept his hand under his coit lap for a mile or two. They gate
to th' lake at last, an' after enjayin' what they call th' seea
breeze, they started off to see some o' th' places ov interest. One
o' th' furst they steer'd to wor th' birthplace o' Tim Bobbin. "An'
who wor Tim Bobbin?" said one o' th' lasses. This puzzled 'em, for
ther worn't one i'th' lot 'at knew; but one o' th' chaps said he
thowt, if he worn't mistakken, he war th' inventor o' th' spinnin'
mule. Th' superintendent said that wor varry likely, for he'd oft
nooatised when readin' history books, 'at chaps gate ther names throo
summat they'd done, an' soa varry likely he gate called Tim Bobbin for
that reason. After that they went back an' had a ride in a booat, an'
as nooan on em knew ha to row, th' watter were varry sooin ankle deep
inside; some on 'em began to grummel at this. "Oh, niver heed," said
Swallow, "yo'll niver catch cold wi' salt watter." It worn't long
afoor they wanted ther tea, soa they went into th' haase an' ordered a
gooid feed. Aw've heeard cunjurors say, "Quick, Jack, fly," when
they've been puttin' summat aat o'th' seet; but ther worn't time to
say that wi' them, for th' breead and butter went like leetnin'. One
plate full after another kept comin' in, till at last th' mistress
said, "Aw think yo must ha' been hungry?" "E'ea, it's change o'
climate 'at does it," they said. Soa shoo browt in a fresh lot, but
it made noa difference; away it went after tother. "Do yo' know,".
shoo says, when shoo coom in agean, "at yo've etten two pund o' breead
apiece?" "Why what's two pund when its cut thin," they said? An' at
it they went agean. When they couldn't find room for ony moor, they
paid ther shot an' started off hooam, whear they landed safely. Th'
next Sunday neet, when th' gas wor lit at schooil iverybody wor capt
to see what an' improvement th' new meter wor. Soa after passin' a
vote o' thanks to th' superintendent an' th' taichers for th' trouble
they' been put to, th' matter dropt.
Plagues
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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