Your boy and his training : $b A practical treatise on boy-trainingPuller, Edwin Seward
Science
Your boy and his training : $b A practical treatise on boy-training
Puller, Edwin Seward
Boys; Child rearing
Would it were possible to state a simple golden rule for boy-training!
Unfortunately such a complex subject cannot be reduced to fixed rules
or mechanical formulas. The complexity of the problem is grounded in
the complexity of life; its solution is found in methods as variant
as the diverse needs of mind, soul, and body. The author has stressed
parental responsibility and the need of parental training as a basic
preliminary to solving the boy-problem. The far-flung necessity for
parental instruction is made imperative by the racial habit, of
Americans especially, of drifting out of touch with their children
during adolescence. In the preadolescent period--when our children
are childish--we preserve the closest intimacy and companionship by
unbending our mature dignity, at least in the privacy of home, to a
degree which puts us in perfect accord with their natures. Under such
conditions we are the recipients of their confidences and intimacies
which they give freely, naïvely and trustfully. In return for the gift
of our love, our own lives are rejuvenated by association with the
light, joy, and laughter of youth.
But the arrival of puberty marks a change in our attitude toward our
children of which we are not wholly conscious. At this age the boy is
neither man nor child, but part of both, and we become impatient with
the idiosyncrasies of his nature and conduct which constantly assert
themselves at this period of life. Our annoyance at the manifestations
of his psychic changes, which is caused by our failure to understand
them, arouses in him the suspicion that he is neither loved nor
appreciated and he drifts farther and farther out of the range of our
influence until he reaches the hinterland from which little tidings of
his inner self ever reach us. The realization of this fact comes to
the boy much earlier and with more poignant force than to the parent.
The consciousness of his isolation is evidenced by his secretiveness,
his opinion that he is not understood and his belief in parental lack
of sympathy. The former relationship of chum and comrade has been
superseded by an attitude of unresponsiveness or even hostility. The
secretiveness of the boy toward those who do not have his confidence
is only equalled by his frankness toward the adult with whom he is on
terms of intimate companionship.
How many fathers take the time to tell a story to their sons after
puberty? Or to explain the phenomena of the business, banking,
industrial, or mechanical world? The busy parent usually esteems
himself fortunate if he can escape the importunate inquiries of his
offspring concerning the facts of the man’s world; and the boy, seeking
the companionship of men for which he yearns during adolescence, is led
to the society of the drunken hostler who is ever ready to regale him
with a collection of stories replete with profanity and obscenity.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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