After a little while Mrs. Murray succeeded in inducing Christine to
take walks with her along those quiet unfashionable streets, in the
bracing air of the late autumn afternoons. She would return from these
expeditions so refreshed, with such a charming color in the fair, sweet
face to which peace and love and protecting companionship had given an
expression of new beauty, that Mrs. Murray would be half protesting at
the thought that the people that passed it, in the street, were deprived
of a sight of its loveliness by that close, thick veil, which it never
seemed to occur to Christine to lay aside. It seemed an instinct with
her, and her good friend felt hurt to the very heart when she thought
what the instinct had its foundation in.
In proportion as the influence of these days and weeks brought peace
and calm to Christine, to Noel they brought an excited restlessness.
He was under the spell of the strongest feeling that he had ever known.
All the circumstances of his intercourse with Christine, the difficult
self-repression to which he had compelled himself so long, and the
sudden sense of her freedom which made vigilance harder still--all these
things together brought about in him a state of excitement that kept
him continually on a strain. It was only in her presence that he was
calm, because it was there that he recognized most fully the absolute
need of calmness and self-control. Away from her, he sometimes rushed
into rash resolves, as to a resolute manly sort of wooing which he
felt tremendously impelled to, and in which he felt a power in him to
succeed. He would even make deliberate plans, and imagine himself going
to the house and insisting on seeing Christine alone, and then his
thoughts would fairly fly along, uttering themselves in excited words
that burned their way to Christine's heart and melted it.
But when, in actuality, he would come to where she was, all these brave
and manful purposes faded, like mist, before the commanding spell of her
deep and solemn calm. She seemed so tranquil in her assured sense of his
simple friendliness that he often thought she must have forgotten
entirely, in the excitement that followed, that he had offered her his
heart and hand and name, or else that she was so convinced of the fact
that it had been done in pity that she had never given it a second
thought.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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