Prosperity might doubtless have followed a discreet profession, but
Gilderoy must still be thieving, and he reaped a rich harvest among the
unsuspicious courtiers of France. His most highly renowned exploit was
performed at St. Denis, and the record of France's humiliation is still
treasured. The great church was packed with ladies of fashion and their
devout admirers. Richelieu attended in state; the king himself shone
upon the assembly. The strange Scotsman, whom no man knew and all men
wondered at, attracted a hundred eyes to himself and his magnificent
equipment. But it was not his to be idle, and at the very moment whereat
Mass was being sung, he contrived to lighten Richelieu's pocket of a
purse. The king was a delighted witness of the theft; Gilderoy, assuming
an air of facile intimacy, motioned him to silence; and he, deeming it
a trick put upon Richelieu by a friend, hastened, at the service-end, to
ask his minister if perchance he had a purse of gold upon him. Richelieu
instantly discovered the loss, to the king's uncontrolled hilarity,
which was mitigated when it was found that the thief, having emptied the
king's pocket at the unguarded moment of his merriment, had left them
both the poorer.
Such were Gilderoy's interludes of gaiety; and when you remember the
cynical ferocity of his earlier performance, you cannot deny him the
credit of versatility. He stayed in France until his ominous reputation
was too widely spread; whereupon he crossed the Pyrenees, travelling
like a gentleman, in a brilliant carriage of his own. From Spain he
carried off a priceless collection of silver plate; and he returned to
his own country, fatigued, yet unsoftened, by the grand tour. Meanwhile,
a forgetful generation had not kept his memory green. The monster,
who punished Scotland a year ago with fire and sword, had passed
into oblivion, and Gilderoy was able to establish for himself a new
reputation. He departed as far as possible from his ancient custom,
joined the many cavaliers, who were riding up and down the country,
pistol in hand, and presently proved a dauntless highwayman. He had
not long ridden in the neighbourhood of Perth before he met the Earl of
Linlithgow, from whom he took a gold watch, a diamond ring, and eighty
guineas. Being an outlaw, he naturally espoused the King's cause, and
would have given a year of his life to meet a Regicide. Once upon a
time, says rumour, he found himself face to face with Oliver Cromwell,
whom he dragged from his coach, set ignominiously upon an ass, and so
turned adrift with his feet tied under the beast's belly. The story is
incredible, not only because the loyal historians of the time caused
Oliver to be robbed daily on every road in Great Britain, but because
our Gilderoy, had he ever confronted the Protector, most assuredly would
not have allowed him to escape with his life.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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