A Charming Fellow, Volume ITrollope, Frances Eleanor
General
A Charming Fellow, Volume I
Trollope, Frances Eleanor
Fiction
She was entirely taken off her guard. Her head felt as if it were
whirling round, and the words she uttered seemed to come out of her
mouth without her will. Between fear and anger she trembled like a leaf
in the wind. She would have fled out of the room, but her strength
failed her. Her heart was beating so fast that she could scarcely
breathe. Her distress pained Powell to the heart; pained him so much, as
to dismay him with a vivid glimpse of the temptation that continually
lay in wait for him, to spare her, and soothe her, and cease from his
painful probing of her conscience. "Oh, there is a bone of the old man
in me yet!" he thought remorsefully. "Lord, Lord, strengthen me, or I
fall!"
"How hast thou counselled him that hath no wisdom? And how hast thou
plentifully declared the thing as it is?"
The remembrance of the lot he had drawn came into his mind, as an answer
to his mental prayer. It was natural that the words should recur to him
vividly at that moment, but he accepted their recurrence as an undoubted
inspiration from Heaven. The belief in such direct and immediate
communications was a vital part of his faith; and to have destroyed it
would, in great part, have paralysed the impetuous energy, and quenched
the burning enthusiasm, which carried away his hearers, and communicated
something of his own exaltation to the most torpid spirits.
He murmured a few words of fervent thanksgiving for the clear leading
which had been vouchsafed to him, and without an instant's hesitation
addressed the tearful, trembling girl beside him. "Listen to me, Rhoda.
If it be good for your soul's sake that I lay bare my heart before you,
and suffer sore in the doing of it, shall I shrink? God forbid! By His
help I will plentifully declare the thing as it is. I have watched you,
and your feelings have not been hid from me. No; nor your fears, and
sorrows, and hopes, and struggles. I have read them all so plainly, that
I must believe the Lord has given me a special insight in your case,
that I may call you unto Him with power. You are suffering, Rhoda, and
sorry; but you have not thrown your burden upon the Lord. You have set
up His creature as an idol in your soul, and have bowed down and
worshipped it. And you fancy, poor unwary lamb, that such love as yours
was never before felt by mortal, and that never did mortal so entirely
deserve it! And you say in your heart, 'Lo, this man talks of what he
knows not! It is easy for him!' Well--I tell you, Rhoda, that I too have
a heart for human love. I have eyes to see what is fair and lovely; and
fancies and desires, and passions. I love--there is a maiden whom I love
above all God's creatures. But, by His grace, I have overcome that love,
in so far as it perilled the higher love and the higher duty, which I
owe to my father in Heaven. I have wrestled sore, God knoweth. And He
hath helped me, as He always will help those who rely, not on their own
strength, but on His!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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