"Much to deplore in it from the social stand-point. And unhappily, we
cannot leave the social stand-point out of our reckoning. But so far
as I may speak for myself, you have done nothing to feel sorry for or
be ashamed of."
"It is kind of you," she cried, graciously. "Only it is not true, and
you know it is not true. You know that you acted for the best; you
know that I hurt you, insulted you; you know that I behaved like a
fish-wife, and you do know that I disgusted you--"
"No, no!" He raised his hand as though to ward from her the blows she
dealt herself.
"But yes, yes. And I have all reason in the world to be ashamed. I
can only say this in defence: the woman had affected me deeply--so
deeply that I was close to weeping. Then you came on the scene,--you
know what you did,--and the sorrow for her bred an indignation against
you, and--well, I worked myself into a nervous condition such as I had
never experienced in my life. It was hysteria, I suppose. Anyway, I
was not myself."
"We were neither of us ourselves."
"Now you are untrue. I did wrong, but you were yourself, as much so
then as now. But do be seated. Here we stand as though you were ready
to run away at first sign of another outbreak."
"Surely you are not so terrible!" he laughed, adroitly pulling his
chair into position so that the light fell upon her face.
"Rather, you are not such a coward. I must have been terrible
yesterday. I--I almost struck you. And you were certainly brave when
the whip hung over you. Why, you did not even attempt to raise a hand
and shield yourself."
"I notice the dogs your whip falls among come nevertheless to lick your
hand and to be petted."
"Ergo?" she queried, audaciously.
"Ergo, it all depends," he equivocated.
"And, notwithstanding, I am forgiven?"
"As I hope to be forgiven."
"Then I am glad--only, you have done nothing to be forgiven for. You
acted according to your light, and I to mine, though it must be
acknowledged that mine casts the broader flare. Ah! I have it,"
clapping her hands in delight, "I was not angry with you yesterday; nor
did I behave rudely to you, or even threaten you. It was utterly
impersonal, the whole of it. You simply stood for society, for the
type which aroused my indignation and anger; and, as its
representative, you bore the brunt of it. Don't you see?"
"I see, and cleverly put; only, while you escape the charge of
maltreating me yesterday; you throw yourself open to it to-day. You
make me out all that is narrow-minded and mean and despicable, which is
very unjust. Only a few minutes past I said that your way of looking
at it, theoretically considered, was irreproachable. But not so when
we include society."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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