Custom amounting to law requires that a girl shall be at least twelve, and a boy fourteen before marriage. In the case of girls this minimum is often adhered to pretty closely, but betrothals can be arranged still earlier. Cicero’s daughter Tullia was betrothed at ten and married at thirteen--a very common arrangement. Nobody imagined she had the least right to complain. Marriage involves a great shift in family relations, and the control of the family pertains strictly to the _pater familias_ and to his _matrona_. They will ordinarily exercise loving pains in selecting a suitable spouse for a daughter, but the decision must be very largely theirs. Boys as a rule marry much later, often not until well into manhood. They can demand inevitably a certain right of choice, although the parents still exercise a marked authority. As for bachelors, if they indulge in various coarse “affairs” with dancing girls, only very peevish persons are critical. After marriage, however, they must treat their wives with reasonable outward respect, if by no means always with austere faithfulness. In any case a girl is likely to be married off too young either to resist her parents’ choice or to pick out intelligently any proper husband for herself.[27] =51. A Marriage Treaty among Noble-Folk.=--When Gratia’s parents decided she was old enough to “become settled” they applied to a distinguished kinsman, an ex-consul, to help them to find a suitable bridegroom. This noble gentleman looked over a list of his younger friends, selected Calvus, and wrote a careful letter commending him, praising his lineage, and his firm hopes of official distinction, and telling how “he had a frank, open countenance, fresh colored and blooming and a handsome well-knit figure”; in short “he was quite the fellow to deserve so fine a girl.” The great man went on to add that the favored candidate had a respectable fortune, for “though I dislike to speak of the financial aspects of the matter, still one must consider the tendencies of the day.” Not one word was said as to how Gratia herself might want to be consulted; her consent was taken for granted.[28] Gratia’s parents, therefore, approached Calvus’s guardian, his uncle. He being satisfied as to dowry and social adjustments, both young people were informed of what had been determined for them. Gratia and Calvus alike had always expected some such arrangement and capitulated with reasonable grace. The ensuing marriage, founded not on any romance, but on a cold-blooded study of what supposedly made for domestic happiness, in this case at least has been fortunate and fruitful. The wedded pair have come truly to love one another, and they dwell in great harmony. In this general manner marriages are arranged every day in Rome.