"Oh, my lady!" he cried, suddenly starting up as if the narrow _coupé_
had become too close and prison-like for him, "you are repeating my own
thoughts! How often in the night, especially in clear spring nights,
when I have awakened and heard my dear wife's quiet breathing near me;
while the children were lying asleep in the neighboring room, and the
moonlight was moving so weirdly and quietly over the low walls; and the
ancient clock, which the old man wound so regularly, and which dates
from the Thirty Years' War, was ticking drowsily to and fro--how often
I have been forced to spring out of bed and look down into the valley
through the little window with the round pane! And when I have seen the
Tauber flowing along in its narrow bed as hastily as if it could not
escape too soon from its restraining banks and throw itself into the
Main, and with it into the Rhine, and thence into the ocean--how much I
have suffered, as I ground my teeth together and slunk back to bed
tired and saddened, I have never told a human soul. It seemed the
blackest ingratitude against the kind fate which had dealt with me so
gently. But the day after I could never touch a brush; and if I saw in
a paper the word Rome or Naples, the blood rushed to my head as though
I were some deserter caught on the road, and dragged handcuffed back to
his barracks."
He thrust his hand through his curly hair, and fell back in his seat.
She had regarded him during his excited speech with a keen, fixed look,
and, for the first time, his face interested her. The innocent,
youthful expression had disappeared; his clear, beautifully formed eyes
blazed; and his slender figure, in spite of the common black coat,
gained something animated, almost heroic, as well beseemed the
descendant of the "great burgomaster."
"I understand your mood," said the stranger, composedly taking a
cigarette from a small silver box and lighting it with a waxen taper,
"but just so much the less do I comprehend your action. To be sure, I
myself have always been accustomed to do only what satisfies my
nature's deepest needs. I acknowledge no chains. Either they are too
weak, and I break them; or they are too strong, and strangle me. To
remain in them alive is for me an impossibility. Do you smoke? Do not
be embarrassed. You see, I set the example."
He shook his head, thanked her, and became all attention.
"As I said," continued the lady, blowing the smoke slowly before her
with her beautiful, expressive lips, "I have no right to criticise your
plan of life. But you must allow me to wonder how a man can complain of
a difficulty rather than help himself out of it, especially where it
would be so easy. Do you fear that your wife would be untrue to you if
you should take an art journey?"
"Christel? Untrue to me?" In spite of his gloominess he laughed aloud.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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