Lawson came down to see me again to-night; he wanted to tell me of an inspector's visit to-day. "Why don't you apply for an inspectorship?" he asked. I lit my pipe. "Various reasons, old fellow," I said. "For one thing I don't happen to know a fellow who knows a chap who lives next door to a woman whose husband works in the Scotch Education Department. "Again, I'm not qualified; I never took the Education Class at Oxford." "Finally, I don't want the job." "I suppose," said Lawson, "that lots of 'em get in by wire-pulling." "Very probably, but some of them probably get in straight. Naturally, you cannot get geniuses by wire-pulling; the chap who uses influence to get a job is a third-rater always." Lawson reddened. "I pulled wires to get into my job," he said. "That's all right," I said cheerfully, "I've pulled wires all my days." "But," I added, "I wouldn't do it again." "Caught religion?" "Not quite. The truth is that I have at last realised that you never get anything worth having if you've got to beg for it." "It's about the softest job I know, whether you have to beg for it or not. The only job that beats it for softness is the kirk," he said. "I wouldn't exactly call it a soft job, Lawson; a rotten job, yes, but a soft job, no. Inspecting schools is half spying and half policing. It isn't supposed to be you know, but it is. You know as well as I do that every teacher starts guiltily whenever the inspector shoves his nose into the room. Nosing, that's what it is." "You would make a fairly decent inspector," said Lawson. "Thanks," I said, "the insinuation being that I could nose well, eh?" "I didn't mean that. Suppose you had to examine my school how would you do it?" "I would come in and sit down on a bench and say: 'Just imagine I am a new boy, and give me an idea of the ways of the school. I warn you that my attention may wander. Fire away! But, I say, I hope you don't mind my finishing this pie; I had a rotten breakfast this morning.'" "Go on," said Lawson laughing. "I wouldn't examine the kids at all. When you let them out for minutes I would have a crack with you. I would say something like this: 'I've got a dirty job, but I must earn my screw in some way. I want to have a wee lecture all to myself. In the first place I don't like your discipline. It's inhuman to make kids attend the way you do. The natural desire of each boy in this room was to watch me put myself outside that pie, and not one looked at me. "'Then you are far too strenuous. You went from Arithmetic to Reading without a break. You should give them a five minutes chat between each lesson. And I think you have too much dignity. You would never think of dancing a ragtime on this floor, would you? I thought not. Try it, old chap. Apart from its merits as an antidote to dignity it is a first-rate liver stimulator.' Hello! Where are you going? Time to take 'em in again?