A long paragraph in this dry style will be published in the _Times_, or any other London morning paper. Now, the American reporter will be required to bring something a little more entertaining if he hopes to be worth his salt on the staff of his paper, and he will probably get up an account of the case somewhat in the following fashion: Mary Jane So-and-so is a pretty little brunette of some twenty summers. On looking in the glass at her dainty little ears, she fancied how lovely a pair of diamond earrings would look in them. So one day she thought she would try on those of her mistress. How lovely she looked! said the looking-glass, and the Mephistopheles that is hidden in the corner of every man or woman's breast suggested that she should keep them. This is how Mary Jane found herself in trouble, etc., etc. The whole will read like a little story, probably entitled something like "Another Gretchen gone wrong through the love of jewels." The heading has to be thought of no less than the paragraph. Not a line is to be dull in a paper sparkling all over with eye-ticklers of all sorts. Oh! those delicious headings that would resuscitate the dead, and make them sit up in their graves! A Tennessee paper which I have now under my eyes announces the death of a townsman with the following heading: "At ten o'clock last night Joseph W. Nelson put on his angel plumage." * * * * * "Racy, catching advertisements supplied to the trade," such is the announcement that I see in the same paper. I understand the origin of such literary productions as the following, which I cull from a Colorado sheet: This morning our Saviour summoned away the jeweler William T. Sumner, of our city, from his shop to another and a better world. The undersigned, his widow, will weep upon his tomb, as will also his two daughters, Maud and Emma, the former of whom is married, and the other is open to an offer. The funeral will take place to-morrow. Signed. His disconsolate widow, Mathilda Sumner. _P. S._--This bereavement will not interrupt our business, which will be carried on as usual, only our place of business will be removed from Washington Street to No. 17 St. Paul Street, as our grasping landlord has raised our rent.--M. S. The following advertisement probably emanates from the same firm: PERSONAL--HIS LOVE SUDDENLY RETURNED.--Recently they had not been on the best of terms, owing to a little family jar occasioned by the wife insisting on being allowed to renovate his wearing apparel, and which, of course, was done in a bungling manner; in order to prevent the trouble, they agreed to send all their work hereafter to D., the tailor, and now everything is lovely, and peace and happiness again reign in their household. All this is lively. Never fail to read the advertisements of an American paper, or you will not have got out of it all the fun it supplies.